What is pistanthrophobia? It’s the fear of trusting people. This fear has been haunting me since a very young of age. I was only a child, still trying to understand the world around me. I was only ten, when it started.
Ten, that’s pretty young if you ask me, young to have such a fear as pistanthrophobia. At that age, my friends isolate, reject, and leave me alone. But not only had I lost my trust in friends but also authorities, friends’ parents, my parents, relatives, etc. I hardly even trust myself. There was no one I could trust, for I believed in my mind that they would leave me.
At eleven, I isolated myself from society and light. Became darker and darker. My family became afraid of me becoming darker than ever. I started getting myself into trouble and not caring about things that are considered fun.
Twelve, still dark and suffering from pistanthrophobia, but the good news is I started going back and trusting only my family. For they were the ones who adopt and raised me as their own. My suffering from pistanthrophobia has nearly taken over me, and by that I mean I would shut myself, again, from society and light.
Teenager, thirteen, I start going to a school for homeschooler though I was reluctant. I met friends but still had a hard time trusting them. They would say “hi” and I would say nothing, I was shy. They would play with me, but I wanted to be alone. I feared that if I was my outgoing, hyper alter ego side, they would think of me differently and leave me.
Fourteen, I finally met a friend whom I can trust and she is my friend to this very day, and a church where there are people I can rely on my phobia. I hardly smiled before I met my friend of went to this church but I started seeing the light at the end. I met people at church who understand my pain and pistanthrophobia and a friend who’s always with me, making me laugh and smile all the way through.
Now fifteen, I am still sort of kind of suffering from pistanthrophobia because now, I am being reunited, my accident, by the friends who rejected, isolated, left me alone. But now, I am not nearly as shy as I once was and I know that there will be time where I am rejected, isolated, and left alone but that’s okay, I’m used to it. What seems like a threat to them for me, feels like living a normal life. I am now more outgoing and happy. But most of all I am ready to conjure my fear of trusting people.