This morning was Saturday. I woke up at 7am - earlier than I ever want to get up on a Saturday - and began rushing around the house getting ready. Today was the big day: an audition for All-District Band. I'd done this once before, but been disappointed, coming in seventeenth place while the top twelve had made it.
This year, I was determined to have a grand audition. As we drove the twenty-five miles it took to get to the high school, I tried to relax - ignore any comments from my mother that would normally upset me. When we finally arrived, I went in search of my band teacher, found him, got my name tag, and found out that I was going to be #68 out of 72 flutes auditioning.
It was only eight by then, and auditions didn't even begin until ten, so I knew I'd be around for a while. I actually didn't mind the waiting so much...at least not in the beginning. I found the practice room for everyone in Senior High and it was like I couldn't stop running into people I knew...everywhere! There was my old friend Danielle, who brought back memories of choir, my friend Jennifer, who I'd known for almost eight years, and a girl Maris that I used to figure skate with. Those were only three, but there were tons more in the hallways, the cafeteria, the auditorium, the list is endless.
I think seeing familiar faces was part of helping me relax and stay calm while I was waiting. Whenever I'd see someone I knew I would ask them how they felt about the audition - most people said they definitely weren't ready but hoped for the best.
Sometime during the morning, Jennifer found me again and introduced me to her friend Kelsey who had forgotten her music and wanted to share mine. We ended up sticking together for hours, getting to know each other, talking, laughing, telling stories. She was really different from me -she seemed to have a more negative outlook on life...and she definitely was not afraid to use cuss words- but I liked her anyway. We even talked about religion - she said she was a Christian, and she told me about her old Christian school and how bad it was.
Once Kelsey left, the day was a little more boring. I kept practicing consistently; I was trying so hard to make sure everything would be perfect. But the practicing couldn't keep me in one place - I couldn't stop moving, whether I was walking upstairs, downstairs, in the auditorium, in the cafeteria. Eventually I decided to stay upstairs and sat down next to a girl from my school and started writing.
Just as I was finally still and had stopped practicing, I heard a voice from down the hall: "Number 68!" I grabbed my stuff, said bye to Sam and walked in to perform my scales and sight-reading.
The judge was really friendly, asking me if Olivia was a family name. He told me just to start whenever I was ready. The first thing I did was take a deep breath, and jump right in with a Db scale. The funny thing was, out of three scales, I only made a mistake on the easiest one! The C three octaves that I had stressed over all day came out naturally, making me almost feel super-human.
After sight-reading - on which I made no mistakes, except maybe a little rushing - I went to the room next door: chromatic scale and solo. The pressure was building here, but somehow I maintained my cool. My chromatic scale came out even better than I had practiced! In the solo, I can't recall making one mistake.
For the first time, I had an audition where I didn't get nervous...my heart never even started beating faster! It was like nothing I've ever experienced. So close to perfection, it almost feels too surreal to be true.
Today, I felt as if I had an honest chance at making this band. In the past, I've been confident like this, and the end has only brought frustration. I can only hope that when I read my name on the paper next week, I'll be one of the lucky ones.
But who knows what Monday will bring?