Hi guys, welcome to the debut of the hottest new REALITY show on Sky Network: America's Next Top Prophet! We are so thrilled to have each and every one of our contestants here with us today. Thank you for your bravery.
Now that you have completed the episode screening and met all criteria for qualification as a contender, allow Me to introduce you to the purpose of our broadcast today.
As you most certainly know, rumors have been whispered since the ancient days that "mad" men (and women) have actually been gifted with supernatural abilities of the spiritual kind. We would like to take advantage of this mystery and remind you that this is most certainly true. That is why we have sent out this most significant casting call to all of the world.
Just as Babel, Just as Persia, Just as Rome; America will shortly fall to ruin. We chose America as the central filming location solely for the fact that America is dominant to other nations in power at this present time in history. Our broadcast will effect most success if the signal is radiated from the U.S.A. When it inevitably crashes down we will follow suit to the succeeding champion nation. (Of course I already know who it is and when it will happen, tune in every week to find out-"Godly chuckle").
Now that We have you all gathered together, We would like to discuss the meat and potatoes of this new and bizarre, yet supremely critical project. The world has always relied on Prophets of The Most High God to foretell of coming disasters, to prophesy building and planting, to declare the truth of the spiritual realm to the physical persons living on Earth. To warn them of what sin does to a nation, to a family, and to an individual's eternal destiny.
Well, it seems in recent centuries, Our enemy Satan has successfully convinced the majority of society that My Prophets are rejects; mentally defective, untrustworthy, dishonorable, insane, and/or liars. This is to all of Heaven's utter dismay.
No bother. I, the Lord Most High, hold the Universe in the very palm of my hand. I correct nature when it runs wild. I turn back the hands of time. I am the Power and the Light. I am balancing the scales, oh baby Earth. Here comes My Word, and it DOES NOT RETURN VOID to Me.
This is why I have gathered you all here today. You are My chosen vessels. You have the ability to see beyond the veil that I have placed in front of man, that he may not see and sense and hear the spiritual dimension. It is very important that you, My consecrated ones, go out boldly like never before. You must read My word, memorize it, and preach it. Call the world to repentance, for the time draws near. I am counting on you.
My law is within your hearts and minds. Should you hear My call, and answer, I will endow you with power from on High. You will speak, and I will fulfill.
You will cast down vain imaginations, calling every thought into the captivity of Christ. You will tread on serpents and scorpions, and nothing will by ANY means hurt you. You will cast out demons in My name, you will heal the sick, you will comfort the mourning. I will be a pillar of Fire before you by night, and a pillar of cloud about you by day. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I AM has called you. It is time.
If you succeed by obeying My voice alone, and accomplish all My will, you will receive the crown of Eternal life. All of humanity, and all of Heaven, is counting on your answer. Will you obey? Or be cast into the fire like the unbelievers? It is up to you. Beloved, Hear My Voice. Call on Me, and I will answer you.
We are all in this game of reality, but whose team will you be playing on? Don't let your gifts be wasted. Let's conquer the enemy. Overcome evil with good. See you on the battlefield my brothers and sisters. Time to whip the devil's butt. No mercy. God speed!