Hi there! This is
Lightbulb7Seven here, and I am a schizophrenic. (My name has been
changed to protect the innocent)
Schizophrenia, as some
call this particular mind lifestyle, runs in my family. My Aunt
Tonnie is a good example.
Aunt Tonnie became
"disabled" at the age of 32. She began having very regular and
very blinding paranoid delusions. She was unable to care for her
3 young children.
She circulated in and
out of state mental hospitals. She would call people all night
long, and say the exact same things over and over and over again.
She did not realize that she was doing this. She was unaware that
her behavior affected others. She was unable to become productive
to society in a direct way.
Until the day of her
death, she did serve a purpose; although not the "cookie-cutter"
life that many children hope and pray for when imagining who they
would like to be when they grow up.
She herself, was a
little princess, deserving of hope and love and all things good
when she was a beautiful little girl. I really regret that my
Aunt lived, and died, misunderstood. I grieve in my heart for
what might have been. I must forgive society for the injustices
that she most certainly suffered. I choose to
However, that being
said; she lived a most extraordinary life indeed. I love her. She
was an amazing teacher, to those who learn, and I am very
greatful for the lessons that she left behind for those of us who
remember her legacy.
She taught me that one
must certainly accept certain things that, for all intents and
purposes, are unacceptable. It is a disgusting thing to despise
your own personality. It is even more gross to condemn
She taught me that
it's okay not to be the most gorgeous creature to have ever set
foot on Planet Earth in all the eons of history and time. Aunt
Tonnie was indeed a beauty queen in her younger days, worthy of
all the jealousy in pageants around the globe. This is not a
I have seen
photographs of her in her teens and early twenties that were
shocking to me. Not explicit photos, but gorgeous ones. I
wondered how the world, which had loved her when she was
beautiful, could have betrayed such a majestic creature at the
first sign of infection. I remained loyal, thanks to her love for
is a hum-dinger. You can't go around it, you can't climb over it.
I guess we'll just have to go through it. Aunt Tonnie did. And I
will always remember her as the most beautiful, kind woman I have
This is a title only
given to one person in an entire lifetime. Al Gore did not
receive this title. Brittany Spears wasn't even nominated. Heck,
Benny Hinn was on an entirely different list altogether (another
time and place).
But Aunt Tonnie. In
all her vulnerability. In the shame. In the rejection of society.
Her soul touched mine.
How many souls can you
count on one hand, that have had the ability to actually, fully
accomplish this reclusive achievement? But a flippin'
schizophrenic mastered this skill. We took care of her didn't we.
Or was she really taking care of us?
Only a real
schizophrenic would ask such ridiculously impossible questions.
Takes one to know one.
~The beatings will
continue until morale improves.