Hi there! This is Lightbulb7 here, and I am a schizophrenic. (My name has been changed to protect the innocent)
Schizophrenia, as some call this particular mind lifestyle, runs in my family. My Aunt Tonnie is a good example.
Aunt Tonnie became "disabled" at the age of 32. She began having very regular and very blinding paranoid delusions. She was unable to care for her 3 young children.
She circulated in and out of state mental hospitals. She would call people all night long, and say the exact same things over and over and over again. She did not realize that she was doing this. She was unaware that her behavior affected others. She was unable to become productive to society in a direct way.
Until the day of her death, she did serve a purpose, although not the "cookie-cutter" life that many children hope and pray for when imagining who they would like to be when they grow up.
She herself, was a little princess, deserving of hope and love and all things good when she was a beautiful little girl. I really regret that my Aunt lived, and died, misunderstood. I grieve in my heart for what might have been. I must forgive society for the injustices that she most certainly suffered. I choose to forgive.
However, that being said, she lived a most extraordinary life indeed. I love her. She was an amazing teacher, to those who learn, and I am very greatful for the lessons that she left behind for those of us who remember her legacy.
She taught me that one must certainly accept certain things that, for all intents and purposes, are unacceptable. It is a disgusting thing to despise your own personality. It is even more gross to condemn it.
She taught me that it's okay not to be the most gorgeous creature to have ever set foot on Planet Earth in all the eons of history and time. Aunt Tonnie was indeed a beauty queen in her younger days, worthy of all the jealousy in pageants around the globe. This is not a personal bias.
I have seen photographs of her in her teens and early twenties that were shocking to me. Not explicit photos, but gorgeous ones. I wondered how the world, which had loved her when she was beautiful, could have betrayed such a majestic creature at the first sign of infection. I remained loyal, thanks to her love for me.
Anyhoo, schizophrenia is a hum-dinger. You can't go around it, you can't climb over it. I guess we'll just have to go through it. Aunt Tonnie did. And I will always remember her as the most beautiful, kind woman I have ever known.
This is a title only given to one person in an entire lifetime. Al Gore did not receive this title. Brittany Spears wasn't even nominated. Heck, Benny Hinn was on an entirely different list altogether (another time and place).
But Aunt Tonnie. In all her vulnerability. In the shame. In the rejection of society. Her soul touched mine.
How many souls can you count on one hand, that have had the ability to actually, fully accomplish this reclusive achievement? But a flippin schizophrenic mastered this skill. We took care of her didn't we. Or was she really taking care of us?
Only a real schizophrenic would ask such ridiculously impossible questions. Takes one to know one.
Sincerely, Glinda Gail
~The beatings will continue until morale improves.