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Tags: god, gifts, mama, family, life, death

A very short snapshot in time. And one I treasure. So no tears, how lucky were we? View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 30, 2008    Reads: 111    Comments: 6    Likes: 4   


It was, I think, our last gift from God.

She was going downhill fast, virtually bedridden even though she tried to get up. Most of the time she just couldn't. It had been that way for days. She slept alot and when she did wake up, sometimes she just didn't have the strength to talk so she'd mouthe the words "I love you" and drift back asleep. The rare times she could talk, the medicine wouldn't let her make much sense. And then Friday came.

Around lunch time on Friday, Mama "woke up". She sat up in bed, wide awake, alert, asking questions, then correcting us when we answered them wrong! She began laughing over things she'd heard us say in the last few days when we thought she was unconscious and oblivious. Then she said, "I'm going to the kitchen!" and this shell of the woman she once was got up and walked to the kitchen.

I called all her grandchildren and told them to come back as fast as they could, and they did, and for the next three hours we talked and laughed, and I held her wooden bread bowl in her lap as she kneaded the dough for one last pan of biscuits. She sat in her kitchen (where she'd spent the majority of her life) and cut up with us like she did before she ever got sick. We couldn't know that in less than seventy-two hours, she'd be gone.

For the rest of the world, it was just another Friday. For us, it was one last afternoon with Mama.

Thanks God.


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Comments:

It was indeed a gift, how lucky you all were. Scones, or biscuits as you call them, must have really featured in women's lives. I can remember an elderly woman who had Alzheimers, walking around the Ward all day long saying "I must put a batch of scones in the oven!"
Reading your stories takes me back to my grandmother's(the Irish one)where we children would all pile into bed with her and beg her to "Tell us a story, Nana."

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

Author Comment:

I know they did for my mother and grandmother. Mama made a batch of biscuits every day while we were growing up. Unfortunately, the demands on moms today is different and we're losing a lot of those traditions. My grandkids will probably remember that I could make a pretty good Pop Tart!

What a lovely memory, piled up in bed with "Nana" as she tells stories I'm sure from her memory. That too was a gift, for you and for her. For all the pleasure it brought to you children, can you imagine the joy it brought her?

There were so many moments in those last days that I never ever wanted to forget, but I knew that the grief was so overwhelming that I probably would. So I tried to write them down. I have a little file on my computer entitled "captured moments" that has grown from those last days to moments from my childhood when my mother (who was something of a character) would do the most outrageous things!

When we lose someone so precious to us, we all think "Oh, I wish I could talk to them one more time" or "I wish I had just one more day." We actually did and I will be forever grateful for it.

I can't tell you how much I look forward to your comments or how much they mean to me. I'm so very glad to know you. Sheryl

How kind of you Sheryl. While I wouldn't call Mummy a character, her Mother, Mary Lucy (whom she called Mumma in the Irish fashion)certainly was and while I loved her dearly, I am glad that she was my Grandmother and not my Mother!

I didn't keep notes but I used to remember details which were the basis of my family history research. Have you done any genealogy ? What a wonderful website you could make with all your stories to put "meat on the bones"

Kindest regards,
Susan

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Ahhh, a woman after my own heart! I have done some genealogy research but never thought about a website. That would be fun if I could find the time. Four kids, five grandkids and one on the way, and my husband and I own two businesses (don't we all just have way too much to do?) makes time a scarce commodity. But one of these days, who knows? I love the idea - thank you! Genealogy research is so much more than dates and events. These were real people who did what they did, I think, to make a place for us. They're our people and they should be remembered.

One of these days (when we both have some of that elusive time), maybe we can trade stories about the "kooky" things my mother and your grandmother did. If my mom pulled some of that stuff today, I suspect she'd be arrested!

Thanks again Susan for the idea...and for everything. Sheryl

A lovely little story, Sheryl! How "wonder-full" that you had those miraculous final hours with your mom, clear headed and alert! A touching memoir... lovingly shared.

Happy days.....Jerry

Posted: Aug 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Indeed it was "full of wonder". I have since heard of this happening to others but boy, when you see it for yourself it's a whole 'nuther thing altogether!

Three unbelievable hours and you know what happened next? She laid her head on my shoulder and asked me to take her back to bed, she was ready. Like lowering a window shade, she faded back into the depths of the cancer and the morphine and I carried her back to bed, fully aware that I had just witnessed a miracle.

Thanks again for stepping into my world for a moment and sharing both compassion and joy. You're welcome here any time! Sheryl

What a great gift. Beautiful story. My mother has Alzheimers. I wish and pray that she would say someting...anything. I say I Love You to her and then walk away, hoping that she will respond. She never does. We are all on borrowed time. Each day is a gift. Cherish It. Take Care, Ted

Posted: Aug 2, 2008

Author Comment:

You know Ted, I remember one of the first things I read here was a piece you wrote about your mother. Nobody knows what she hears, what she understands, so you keep telling her. Miracles happen every day and whether she ever responds or not, I believe with all my heart that sometimes those words get through.

Your comments mean a great deal and you're right, we are on borrowed time. Thank you for reminding us all to recognize that and be grateful. Sheryl

I agree with all of them above....PARENTS are GIFTS from GOD..
They forgive our faults and help us stand up after failures and cook us delicacies....
My MOM was also an awesome cook and DAD too used to cook....once in a while and when he cooked, his dish used to be exotic and spicy...and they used to be too good...he would ask us," isn't mine better than mom's " and with mouth filled with yummy dish, we would look confused at both of them and both of them would laugh...i miss those days....it was really fun...

i am sure those days won't come back but i cherish the memories of them and when i go back to india, i would stay with Mom for a minimum of 2-3 months and eat and eat...eat...

Posted: Sep 12, 2008

This story is wonderful, had a similar
experience with my parents. Thank you
for sharing your treasured moments.
Kind Regards.

Posted: Oct 26, 2008



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