Fifty Shades of reality : By Simon Brill
It was already light when Chris Greystian opened his eyes. The
first thing he saw was his alarm clock blinking 12:00. "Fuck it "
He though to himself. The electric had gone in the middle of the
night. Checking his phone confirmed he was already late for work.
After rushing to dress and forgetting to shave and eat breakfast
he jumped in the car to make the 30 min drive to Aberdare from
Mountain Ash. The local roads were shit at the best of times.
Late for work and hungry, he manged to get there.
Work was mundane at the best of times and with the supervisor
being on her period this week, this was not going to be a good
day. Lunchtime was a respite from the grind and after a fabulous
feast consisting of a Greggs Steak Bake, cheese and onion crisps
and a bottle of Coke for £2.50, he decided to text his beloved.
By the end of lunch she hadn't replied. "Left her phone at home
again" he convinced himself silently. The afternoon seemed to
drag on for ages. As soon as the shift was over he was one of the
first to the car park. He jumped in and turned the key. Nothing.
Today was not going well at all, at least he had tonight to look
forward to. With thought's of what was to come keeping him going,
and his knowledge of automotive mechanics close to non existant,
he decided to leave the car and get a taxi back home.
Arriving home before his beloved, Stacy Ann Steel, he was pleased
to see he had the house to himself for and hour before she was
due home. "Time for a shit, shower and shave" he reminded
himself. Tonight was going to be fantastic. After showering,
where he also took the time to trim his pubic hair and make sure
that everything was looking good down there, he dried, sprayed
nearly half a can of Lynx on and dressed himself properly. After
all it was Friday and he made the choice this time to make an
effort. Going to the kitchen and inspecting the fridge revealed
plenty of choice for tonights 'Special' dinner. Last nights
leftover takeway was looking mighty fine right now and there was
half a box of wine in there too from last weekend. "Perfect" he
smiled to himself smugly.
She was due home any minute and the microwave would ensure that
things would be ready for when she did. Suddenly 'beep beep' His
phone went off. it was her. 'I won't be home till 10:30 babe. I'm
off to Bingo with the girls from work. Love you x'. "Great" he
said it out loud, and suprised himself. Normally he was such a
quiet person. "It's ok" he reassured himself. She would probably
be hungry when she got in and after a few drinks would be ready
for what he had planned. He spent the next four and a half hours
alternating between mind numbing TV and Modern Warfare 3. The
internet kept dropping out which didn't make it much fun. "I must
remember to give Talk Talk a piece of my mind" he reminded
himslef. He kept himslef going with a selection of Crisps,
Biscuits and two cans of warm lager.
Before you could recite the complete works of Shakespear it was
10:30 and right on time he heard the front door opening. "This is
it !" the moment he had been looking forward to was here. Stacy
staggered into the living room. She looked beautiful in her half
drunken state. The kebab grease and garlic sauce stain on her top
couldn't detract from her beauty and he still wanted her more
than ever. "I'm hammered" She slurred. "I got a banging headache
and I came on at the bingo hall and had to borrow a panty pad off
Melissa." She turned around sharply, almost to far. Corrected her
aim and headed for the stairs. After missing the first two steps
she managed to make it up and he heard her fall in to bed. She
didn't even stop to undress or say goodnight. "Oh well", his
Then suddenly he remembered that DVD Steve had lent him a few
weeks back. "Now where are the Kleenex and that hand cream" he
whispered with a calm feeling of satisfaction and a broad grin
spreading slowly across his face......
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