It's Something Kinda Funny and It's Something Kinda Sad
When I went to get online last week, I found that my home page website was not only down, but that the subscription had expired. At first I was just kinda 'well...huh!' because the site was pretty much dead anyway, and I had stopped going there years ago. But the days progressed, and I couldn't get it out of my head. It was always there in the back of my mind.
I never went there anymore, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of it as my home page; nothing else felt right. I'm active in many places, -creative sites and the Avatar: the Last Airbender fandom on LJ, mostly- and I have a million other places where I lurk around. But, despite the plentiful amount of other site to use as my home page, I kept that one.
It's been my home page for over six years--no change, I swear to you--and the one friend who knew thought it was weird, but it just felt right to have it there to greet me when I got online each day.
The site was introduced to me by the girl who was partially responsible for getting me involved with both anime and the internet. At the time, she was obsessed with Sailor Moon, and it kind of caught on with me. So, I asked her for some site links for Sailor Moon stuff. The website was the top one.
When I first got on it, it was still part of a whole bunch of sites by the webmistress, but it was the biggest. It was a fansite, with three big fanfics featured; actually holding the first Sailor Moon Zodiac fanfic posted online, not that that means much to you, I'm sure. I read the fics, and loved them. I used to talk about it all the time with the girl I knew, and tried to introduce it to my little sister, as well.
After I while, -I don't remember how long, exactly- the webmistress got a separate site for the Sailormoon Millennia Trilogy, as it was called. Around this time, I found the forum that went with it.
I lurked there for about a year, learning the ins and outs of forum etiquette, roleplaying guidelines, and every other unwritten internet rule you need to know when posting.
I was active there long before I found out about Fanfiction.net or Livejournal, and that website has almost solely shaped the way I post and interact with others online. It was my first, really, and I think that's why it hurt to lose it.
The site's back now, but it got me thinking. What I never really understood until now, is that everything online is fleeting. I know that this is true of anything in life, but I always sort of carried the romanticized notion that, if you looked hard enough, you could find anything online again.
That's not the case.
Sites go down. Flashvids get taken off. Fanfics go on hiatus. Webcomics end. Forums die. Some things last for a long time -Sailormoon Millennia had its tenth anniversary last winter- and some die almost before they are born. It's scary, really, to think of all the good times you have in a place, and know that one day that place won't be there anymore. That unless you take the time to save every memory you care about, -and no one can save them all...- sooner or later it will be nothing more than a cold, lifeless error page.
Because sooner or later, you'll return to a place you loved and find only ruins; nothing but a memory cyberspace forgot...