When I finally woke up on the solid ground, my vision was blocked by a load of grey smoke. I took a quick gasp for air but all as I could taste was smoke and a sickening feeling in my gut. Although I knew that it was the middle of the war, and that bombs had exploded in every direction, I knew that something was wrong. Something was wrong other than the war, but I just couldn’t work it out. I had no memory of this what so ever. I knew that it was the war but it felt as if a part of my life was missing.
I stood up and looked around, to find the wreckage and all the shrapnel that the bombs had left behind. The village church was no longer a church anymore. The windows of it looked as if they had just shattered into thousands of little pieces. Houses were in ruins. Dead and wounded people were scattered all over, pleading for help or just lying on the ground, like a motionless rock.
The sound I heard next was the most horrifying. A crying baby. Not my baby , but a baby who had lost his mother , The screaming rattled through my ears, echoing for about two minutes. Then I remembered…
A huge white flash appeared out of nowhere. And suddenly I was in, what seemed to be, an entirely different dimension. I was running, running fast, hurrying trying to get to safety. I was clutching something in my arms and holding it tight, trying to protect it with all my life. Bits of rubble were coming out in every direction. The last bomb finally went off, luckily for me it was nowhere near me or my beloved baby in my arms. The outcome of the bombs left buildings torn apart, families no longer families. But all that mattered to me now was Tyler, my 1 week old son, who meant everything to me.
I stopped running. Luckily all the bombs had stopped going off. I breathed in, trying to get some air but all I could taste was the smoke . I cuddled Tyler , pleased for him and I to be alive. But as I hugged him closer to my chest, Something sailed across the sky, It was fast and it was too fast to see, but if I had to guess, it looked like a brick.
I looked down to see no Tyler. Where was he ?! . I looked around , disorientated and confused.
“Umm… Hello ?” A tall woman said leaning over me. “Are you Ok?” She continued, leaning over me . “ I’ve lost my child ! “ I said and immediately stood up. “I’ve lost my child!” I was panicked. I didn’t know where Tyler was . I spun around, swiftly, looking for Tyler, but he wasn’t there. That’s when the other flash back came. A white flash, again . Then before I knew it I was holding my little brown haired boy in my arms at our house, back to where we belong. . I hugged him and bent over and gave him a little kiss on his for head. He wasn’t about to go away tis time, I was sure of it. When my lips touched his tanned brown forehead, He slowly disappeared.
I felt like I’d just been slapped numerous of times in the face.
Wake up! Wake up ! Wake up! I yelled at myself, trying to persuade myself I was having a nightmare and that I was about to wake up any second…
And I did. I woke up, sitting on a chair which seemed to be in a small waiting room. On the wall was pictures of children, happy children with there parents. I smelt the smell of Soap. That’s all I could smell. Just soap. Soap and… And the smell of innocent people dying. That instant I knew where I was at. I was at the hospital. But why? I wasn’t injured was I? I had a few cuts and bruises of the rubble and all the shrapnel on my skin but that was it. They wouldn’t send me into hospital just for that, would they ?
“Would you like to come with me now “A tall, blonde haired, clean looking man came through the doors. Nothing could of prepared me for what I saw next. In a tiny cradle, there was Tyler. He had a fully bandaged head that covered all of his face except from his nose and mouth.
I touched his tiny hand, It felt cold and lifeless. No movement or signs of life came from him what so ever. A tear rolled down my cheek as the doctor came into the room where my baby was held. “What happened?” I asked in a shaky voice, avoiding eye contact with him. I was still staring at my baby boy, who looked as if he would give up at any second. No sound was coming from the doctor or Tyler , which scared me. “He got hit with a piece of shrapnel, of the bombs.” He paused and looked nervous to continue. He hesitated before continuing. “Then you dropped him”. I looked at my baby once more, before looking away.
The doctor said he wouldn’t make it. So he took the machine that was keeping him alive away. I stroked his little hand and his fingers suddenly wrapped around my hand tightly, like he was begging for his life. Then the life machine stopped and Tyler’s fingers loosened from my hand. A tear managed to escape from my eye. I have just killed my baby.