Dear whoever,
My letter is gonna sound crappish and watever, but my life so fucked up right now and i don't care. maybe im talking to god maybe im talking to the demons in hell. i dont care. why did u give me this life. this shity life. i know people say just ignore it, i dont care, but im a writer. so i take words seriously. i guess i could have been a kool person. a gangsta kind of person. but no. my parents didnt let me have the kool easy life. i got this fucked up life instead. sometimes after school i would just go home and cry. why is everyone against me? i use to be the koolest person ever. in 6th grade. but now in middle school. everyone is prejudice. not just white people. but my own kinbd too. asains. i dont give a shit if u r racist. go ahead and call me names. go ahead and beat me up. i dont care anymore. my life is a total wreck. im a total wreck. if u look up ugly in the dictionary my picture and my name would be in there. why do they kall me names?
my life.... people say u don't have a life nerd cuz all u do is do ur homework and clean ur room. thats not true at all, but i dont care. my heart sucks in the pain. i dont even believe i ahve a heart anymore. sometimes my parents r against me. sometimes they go against me. nobody likes me. im a freak. people call me that and look at me and laugh. some of my best friends moved away long time ago. i met one of them one time. they didn't know me. didn't remember me. looked at me and just smiled and walked away. how could they forget me? i didn't forget them? As i write this write now my heart pounds in pain and i cry. my vision gets blurry as tears r in my eyes ready to jump out and see the the crappy world. i want to kill myself, but i wont cuz im not a coward. i'll live my life until its over. my puppy is the best though. thats a good thing about dogs. they dont care if ur a different race. they will love u and lick u cuz they r friendly. i always dreamed that i would be unstoppable. a hero. but i forgot about that shit a long time ago. the past. my heart seems like it cant let it go.
sometimes when i walk around with my family. people look at me like im soem kind of freak. always. wat am i? it doesn't seem like im human. sometimes when bad things happen. my body feels a sudden rush. a feeling of pain. is it cuz my anem is retarded? Eric Phan? whats so weird bout it? i no why. cuz my look? i look like a reatarded bastard isnt that it? no one cares about hurting ur feelings they just do it. i hope i have a heart attack at a young age. cuz maybe then people would care for me. oh well. my life is messed up.
* Author's Note* this is pretty much my crappy damned life.
feeling much pain as ever,
Eric
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