Not So Special
I don't actually know where my name comes from. All that I really know is that I was first born and my father named me. I feel like my name isn't special at all and that it was just given to me. I think they just slapped it on my birth certificate like slapping butter on bread. My name means nothing; it's just a plain common boring name. Ir I really wanted to change my name I would change it.
If I could change my name I'd change it Ariella Rose Mason. I'd keep my last name because it's my family's name. My favorite flower is a rose and Ariella comes from "Ariel The Little Mermaid". I'm always swimming and I'm called Ariel since I love to swim so much. Ariel is who I am; a single fish in the great big ocean.
Right now I'm only 15 years old. My mom left my dad when I was about seven years old. I live with my dad, though I still visit my mom on the weekends. My little sister was only a few months old not even one year old! I'm the oldest and so the responsibility, of being like a sort of mother figure, or just another person in charge, was placed on my shoulders. She, my mother, got remarried when I was nine and has had two more children since then. So, she has total of five children. I have four younger siblings and I take care of all of them. Sometimes I feel like smashing my head on a cinder block.
Once I had to watch all four of my siblings at my mother's house while she and my step-dad went to New York. They were gone for a total of six hours and the baby wouldn't go to bed and was constantly crying. I was so close to knocking myself out to stop hearing his screams. I'm always put in charge of them. My siblings always race, run, and are very rowdy and I have to deal with them. Sometimes I feel like my parents gave me too much responsibility.
Superstitious. Am I? Or Not?
I am a very superstitious person. I always have and I always will be. My superstitious fears are not from my religion either. I am always looking out for cracks on the sidewalk like my mother's back is really going to break. Last year, like every other year, I got my new calender and I always look for the month that has a Friday the 13th in it. There's only supposed to be one Friday the 13th a year, but last year of 2012, there were three Friday the 13th 's. That's a lot of bad karma and negative energy even if it is one day. So, when the first of the three came I was aware of it and tried to be safe.
I may be a klutz, but I'm always trying to be careful. I was careful, but I guess I wasn't careful enough and somehow ended up spraining my ankle and getting a giant bruise on my cheek. I'd fell down the stairs and had to go to the hospital because I was unconscious from hitting my head so hard. When I awoke they said I had a concussion and had to take it easy. I was angry that I'd fallen, but I knew it wasn't particularly my fault so I rolled with punches. I healed a little while later, but that bruise wasn't going anywhere for a while.
On the 2nd Friday he 13th I knew the last time that I wasn't wary of what could happen so this time I relaxed taking it easy at school and tried not to make any missteps or to hit my head on anything, but that didn't help. I was walking when someone tripped my on purpose and I went tumbling. I fell and when I looked up everyone was laughing and some were trying to get the nurse. I thought I was fine, but turns out my nose was bleeding profusely. I didn't feel the pain until after I found out it was only bruised badly.
When I checked the rest of myself I had bruises everywhere. Okay, I bruise like a peach, but it wasn't my fault. The last Friday the 13th came after Halloween. I love Halloween, but Halloween is very dangerous for a superstitious person like me. It feels as if the trees watch me all night, and the winds are whistling and whipping around me. It's scary not knowing what will happen. The last Friday the 13th I made it out in one piece. It was a tough year I'll admit that, but I am superstitious and I always will be.
Her parents disapproved a lot of the things she liked, especially if it was a person. She told her father about two years ago what her sexuality was. She was afraid to tell her father the truth, but she knew he hated liars and lying. She told him that she was bisexual even though he didn't believe her for a long while. Her mind was made and she would never change it, ever. She was nervous that her father would tell her mother. Her mother always asked her if she liked any boys; she never asked if she liked any girls.
Her mother was a devout Christian and so was her step-dad. Her step-dad asked her one day if she didn't like any boy than he'd pray for her. She got scared and told him she did like a boy, and he was a real boy who she had a crush on since earlier that year before. This boy she liked was a 'Prince Charming', but her stepfather still disapproved saying she was too young for him. He was only a year older than her and he still didn't like her crush.
So about a year later, at 14 her real father accepts that his daughter is bisexual and she still keeps her mother and stepfather in the dark. So, she still has that crush on the same boy, but she soon meets a beautiful girl. They become close friends and hang out everyday. The girl's name is Jazmyne. She tells her father that she likes the girl Jazmyne more than a friend and he becomes furious with her. Her father of course now watches over her shoulder when she hangs out with her friend. She doesn't care if her parents don't approve of who she likes, boy or girl. It's her choice.
Jordan's mother and father do not live together anymore. They've been divorced for years. Every weekend, as Jordan pleases, she goes to her mother's house. Four weeks ago she was forced to go her mother's house because her father was going out of town for work. Before she left it was a warm day in spring. As Jordan walked home from school you could practically hear her heart speed up. The only reason she didn't like spring was because bees were out and she was allergic and didn't want to get stung.
As she walked up the chipped porch steps she saw her father's truck. The was unlocked so went straight inside. Jordan put on her best angelic smile when she saw her father. After she said hi she heard her little brother and sister scream her name and came running down the stairs. Jordan knew something wasn't right if her siblings were home this early.
He told her that they were going to their mother's house for the entire spring break. She wasn't happy about it , but smiled nodded. Once she got to her mother's house and her father left she let go of her plastered smile and plopped down on the couch. Jordan knew her father was a very strict man and she'd try to be her normal self around her mother, whatever normal she had.
Spring break was fun with her mother, but no so much since her stepfather was still there. Her mother took them out to go bowling, swimming, and even to go out to Chuck E. Cheeses. The day her father came to pick them up she frowned and was sad. She loved her father she just didn't want her happiness to go away; she was having too much fun. But it ended and went back to acting like an angel nodding and smiling.
Wanting Something So Dear
She wants to be able to do things now that she is not able to do. Jordan wants to do so many things right now like not having to stay at home because her father doesn't trust her enough to go out on her own. She feels likes she's 'Snow White' locked away in a glass coffin asleep waiting to be awakened. Her low self-esteem and very low confidence is something that gets in her way of her dreams. She loves to run though her father doesn't let her out ever so she sits staring out the dirty glass windows of her house. When she feels like her dreams are in reach her dreams suddenly grow legs and run away from her.
Jordan feels as if her parents are hurdles that constantly stay in her way making her jump higher and higher. She doesn't like the obstacles that get in her way, but she has to get over around or under them somehow.