Disappointment (Apology)

"Just call when you leave, Im too disappointed to think about you anymore right now" That was the text I received from her. Words chosen to be especially painful since she knows I would rather her be mad at me than disappointed in me. It is hard to explain how I let her down; its too personal. Kat and I have been friends 20 years now, since college. We have been through so much together....good times, sadness, unspeakable tragedy....we have always been there for each other. Knowing that I failed her makes me sad beyond words. I pride myself on being there for my friends. I hug them and kiss them on the cheek. I end almost every conversation with an I love you. Knowing the hurt and disappointment I caused Kat causes such hurt for me. We have spoken and she has begun the process of forgiveness, but our friendship will be different for quite some time. I will do anything to move on from this moment. I will be eternally sorry for what happened. Disappointing Kat has been one of my biggest failures. Redeeming myself as a good friend will be my greatest accomplishment. I love you Katarina.