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How I Felt About Writing in 8th Grade

Essay By: jp23
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This essay is the one I refer to in my profile as the essay claiming that writing is, "the zenith of all things inauspicious." There's a few grammar errors and missing antecedents, so I'll annotate the essay with brackets. when the brackets are preceded by ellipses, the text in the bracket is meant to be read as a continuation of the sentence. When the brackets do not include ellipsis, the text is meant to be explanatory. Keep in mind that this is the first essay I wrote in 8th grade. That said, the reasoning I use to prove my points is pretty amusing.


Submitted:Mar 11, 2013    Reads: 20    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Writing, the zenith of all things inauspicious. Condensed in this eristic essay are the maelvolent acts off writing and its crimes against humanity.

Let's start off with a few things that can happen to the unsuspecting author. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) can occur from the repetitive movements of [involved in] writing. CTS can impare anyone who has dreams of being in the NBA, WNBA, NFL, playing musical instruments, playing any racquet sport [i.e. tenis, badmitton, etc], and, of course, writing for an extenended amount of time, in some cases indefinitely [...preventing one from writing at all].

[Paragraph break] Then you could be like Robert Louis Stevenson. Stevenson, the author of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, lathed writing as much as anyone, but he knew that he had to [write] in order to put food on the table. He had TB [meaning tuberculosis] so he had to move [to different locations] a lot [...in order to live in a place better suited to accomodate his ailment]. One day, he was working on a book and came downstairs to tell his wife that the book was going well when, in front of her, he cluched his head and fell over. He was rushed to the hospital but they couldn't help him. The cause of his death: [...TB accelerated by] exhaustion. Writing has also given us homework, such as this essay and reading logs [an assignment to read a certain number of pages of a book every week].

Writing has been charged with murder and malice. The ruling is up to the school board.





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