Lately I feel trapped,
Locked away in a prison I cannot escape.
I dont wanna sound cliche or like some ignorant teenage anarchist.
I am in a bind,
Stuck to something that makes the days difficult to awake to.
I am with someone I love i dont want that to change.
But, i want to move forward,
I've heard it all before.
I know that no one is really listening.
I'm not depressed or sad.
I am dissappointed at best.
we wake we trudge begrudgingly.
and at the end we struggle and are beat down worse.
I want freedom we were not meant to live like this.
You cannot deny this. so what to do.
what to do...
I scream .
I look around and its quiet.
Few people to hear, to understand.
Im not misunderstood.
Im not going to lie I'm scared.
you cannot wake up in the middle of the night from your deepest horror and honestly say,
its nothing im fine.
I want to live a happpy life provide for a family.
Have meaningful conversations with a woman i love deeply.
Fill my days by doing this confused world just a small portion of good.
Im tired of the cynics,
Im tired of the optimistics.
The labels we create.
we are trying with increasing difficulty to find meaning.
when your old and tired of searching for answers do you say,
It is impossible, I will follow you and your ways?
I just want to know that.
Do you follow evil because you fear it or you fear being alone with your convictions.
or is it just some sick deep human desire to harm your brothers and sisters.
Would you stand up for someone weak and alone.
would you take their pain as your own?
No person on this planet or in any life time has led a perfect life.
do you strive for it?
do you wake up and say,
today i will make someone know they are not alone.
I will help someone feel a thread of hope,
or do you just quietly whisper pleas of gnorance towards your exsistance.
I could careless about
I care that if one person reads this they will think to themselves as someone is beat in front of their eyes,
I will help them i want no reward I want them to know decency still exsists.
I will never make a mark on anyones life.
If i did or do. i hope they forget or never know my name.
thats not the point.
I realize i want to change everything about me so that
i can somehow help.
but, what is one spec of difference among nearly 7 billion people.
All of whom have a better chance of spreading creativity and love.
I have nothing more of meaning to say this evening.
I very much hope to spark some sort of change however small.
Its all i can do.
But, tomorrow i will awake with the same feelings...