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Mom-isms

Essay By: swimFire
Other


I was goin through my writer's journal and kinda found it, it's basically a really long list of my mother's favorite sayings and stuff. You know how it goes, everyone exaggerates a little bit (thou shall not have fun), and some of the things on here have changed but I typed the whole thing anyway. So.
It's pretty random.
Beware.


Submitted:Apr 14, 2009    Reads: 202    Comments: 13    Likes: 6   


1. Thou shall not have fun
2. Thou shall not complain
3. Thou shall not get mad when I hug/kiss you in public
4. Thou shall not want…ANYTHING
5. Thou shall not point out my imperfections
6. Thou shall not be loud
7. Thou shall not stay up late
8. Thou shall love thy sibling
9. Thou shall not hit sibling even when they start it
10. Thou shall not complain rightly that you do more chores than sibling
11. Thou shall not make a list of 'Thou shall not's
12. Thou shall not ever have a pet
13. Thou shall not go out on school nights
14. Thou shall put up with us embarrassing you in public
15. Thou shall tell me everything about everyone everywhere
16. Thou shall repeat technological information thirty thousand times and not get mad when we still don't get it
17. Thou shall not wear ripped jeans
18. Thou shall not wear flip flops to school
19. Thou shall endure lectures regularly
20. Thou shall not have money to go to the mall
21. Thou shall thank us one day
22. Thou shall say we were right, too
23. Thou shall do everything the first time asked
24. Thou shall suck it up and deal with it
25. Thou shall not take riding lessons
26. Thou shall keep room clean and organized
27. Thou shall not eat ten zillion cookies
28. Thou shall not text
29. Thou shall use proper English
30. Thou shall be happy 24/7/365
31. Thou shall not have fun
32. Thou shall not go to a large amount of concerts
33. Thou shall not have fun
34. Thou shall not have fun
35. Thou shall act like you care what I say
36. Thou shall not be strange
37. Especially in front of relatives
38. Thou shall not bake without me breathing down thy neck
39. Thou shall not do anything without me breathing down your neck
40. Thou shall get along with everyone, even those bitchy, preppy, rich girls everyone hates
41. Thou shall not go out in the rain without umbrella
42. Thou shall be decisive
43. No.
44. Thou shall not ask questions
45. Thou shall publicly display affection
46. Thou shall not talk to friends 24/7/365
47. Thou shall not be right
48. Thou shall deal with the double standards
49. Thou shall deal with repetitiveness
50. Thou shall deal with repetitiveness
51. Thou shall go for a walk with me
52. Thou shall not have your way
53. Thou shall not pout
54. Thou shall not go over the 500 minutes a month for your phone
55. Thou shall be teased about something that happened five years ago
56. But you can't tease back
57. Thou shall not do anything
58. Thou shall have a kid that hates you as much as you hate me
59. Thou shall not assume
60. Thou shall talk civilly to me at all times
61. Thou shall not apologize to people if it wasn't your fault, nor shall you feel bad
62. Thou shall not show emotion
63. Thou shall not watch pg13 movies at age 12
64. Thou shall not play T-rated games at age 13, even though your 10 year old brother does
65. Thou shall not say "you wouldn't make it a day in my shoes"
66. Thou shall not grow up
67. Thou shall get all sentimental and mushy when I reminisce
68. Thou shall be friends with everyone
69. Thou shall rip this list up and burn it
70. Thou shall call people you haven't talked to in 4+ months and get together
71. Thou shall not cry
72. Thou shall not buy the shorts thou likes, even though they aren't short
73. Thou shall listen to me trying to speak slang and not shudder
74. Thou shall practically have to answer questionnaire when buying something
75. Thou shall not date
76. Thou shall seek professional help
77. Thou shall not forget
78. Thou shall not repeat thyself if you don't get an answer
79. Thou shall not have fun
80. Thou shall not have fun
81. Thou shall not complain about thy sibling
82. Thou shall babysit for thy sibling for free
83. Thou shall not have an allowance
84. Thou shall not blast music
85. Thou shall not use what I say against me, even if I had it coming
86. Thou shall not check emails thirty thousand times a day
87. Thou shall vacuum and dust regularly
88. Thou shall always be very very early everywhere
89. Thou shall not continue this list
90. Thou shall not have bad handwriting




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