I have found that there is more to life than even what I or any of us know.  There is poverty beyond our sites there are eyes that will never see the help of the greatest saviors of humanity.  We will never be able to bring a world to peace.  I am in pure sorrow knowing that we will never be able to be in pure tranquility.  The child in me wants to still believe in world piece and I still do.  No matter how much I know it is impossible and unlikely I still want to believe that we can be at peace.  I have learned to understand that I am not ever going to ever be able to save the world within my own generation but if I am able to put the idea of an actual world that is full of ideas that are meaningful and ideas with thought and real caring behind them.  I think that I should write for a younger generation than I as well as donate to as much charity and well being of the modern world as I could.  I am currently selling my paintings and I doubt that there will be time left but I am giving 50% to charity.  But check out epsillion356 on ebay and I am not asking you to buy anything from me at all.  I ask that if you hear what I paint has to say than perhaps buy it not for the fact that I write not for the fact that I paint but for the meaning of the painting that means something to you.  I will post the beginning and an unfinished chapter of the new novel I am writing.  I love you all that still read what I write and care what I say.  I am sorry that I was to weak and gave up on the promise I had made to you all.  I may try again on my birthday January 14th to start a 19 to 20 and continue with that.  I hope for you feed back and perhaps if you wish the revision of my novel that I am writing.  I will also be posting six or seen songs that I have written about myself.  I truly can not express how I feel with my appreciation when I even say I love you.  I want you to know that I do love everyone of my readers and everyone that I have met whether they have done me wrong or right I wish them the best.  I know people who have made my life hell but I wish them the best life.  I can tell when I meet people whom they really are.  I have a 6th sense at what people feel and I can feel what people are experiencing.  I am aware that it is not my major and I am most definetely rambling and I might not be making sense but I know that I as are all people sent to this earth whether we be young and niave or aged and mature and wise.  No matter how odd it sounds I know that I am here to do something great in my life.  I must become rich to achieve all that I am destined to do.  The article of money is against who I am as a person.  I can see a world of greatness.  I can pray for a better day.  I hope for the dawning of another day not in my generation but in the next if we were to market a serier or set of real ideals in movies and writing that is what the next generation would be conformed of ideally.  What I guess this huge rambling means is that what we give our children through tv and writing as children will guide the, throughout the life they lead.  I think I have good ideals this is why I think I would be a great writer for the next generation.  I will continue to write on my 18 to 19 novel but it will not be day to day.  The reason for this is not for your happiness but only for that of my own.  You don't understand the tears it brings to my eyes having three people who truly listen to what I say and listen to my emotions.  I thank you three and you know who you are.  You truly make me cry with happiness that someone takes my ideas and who I am seriously.