Just something I thought would hopefully lift the spirit of those who read it.
I woke up this morning like any other morning. First thing I do is reach over to light up a cigarette to get the morning nicotine rush. I'm laying back listening to the radio and the speaker is giving his morning words pf inspiration. I usually try to listen to this gut, sometimes I hear him and other I hear and don't hear him if you know what I mean. Well this morning was different because the message he was giving seemed like it was patently tailored just for me.
Basically the speaker was saying "it don't matter how many or what sins you've committed in the past that GOD can still use you. While you were committing your various sins you were using some sort of skill and although that skill was used to so the devil's work it can be used positively doing GOD'S WORK. If you feel that you've sunk so low that you don't deserve a chance to get it right, know that, that's just the devil whispering nonsense in your ear. There is nio sin that you've committed that hasn't been committed by someone else before you and that GOD hasn't forgiven. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stand up and be the man or woman that you were predestined to be. You just have to ask for forgiveness and come back home to GOD.
I may not have recited the exact message the speaker was giving because I was so caught up in what he was saying that i was like in a trance. I felt that the speaker was speaking directly to me. He was saying that GOD works through people and if this wasn't one of those cases then I don't know what was. I can't really explain how I felt at that moment but for a brief moment I felt a sense of calm. I don't remember how long ago since I felt that way and it felt real good. So I sat and tried to apply the message to my life to see if it was really for me. To my surprise, it was.
I was raised up in church by my grandmother and over the years I've strayed from lessons I learned as a child. I'm not really a religious person now but I do believe in GOD. I've done some terrible things throughout my life time. I have caused a great many people pain. I've take advantage of people's ignorance and kindness and yes their greed. I've neglected my responsibilities as a father and husband. The list of things that I've done could go on forever, but what it all boils down to is that I've committed a great many sins. It's been said that GOD forgives us of our sins. I truly believe that and that's where my problem is. I don't want to be forgiven. I don't think that I deserve to be forgiven. I know GOD wouldn't see it that way but it's how I feel and until I can find a way to get over that overwhelming feeling then my life will continue as it is. I know I have the potential to do good and if I strive for good I will be successful, but do I deserve it"
This probably doesn't make much sense to many but for those few of you that have been in the places that I've been in then you know what I'm saying. Maybe one day this feeling will magically lift from me and I'll be that man that GOD put me on this Earth to be. Until then pray for me