Van brakes go out at the top of the hill with a right or left turn only at the bottom. No way to stop and the gas and brakes that don't work are hit at the same time out of panic. To late pray that the momentum ends once the curb is jumped .... It doesn't end the van barrels and crashes through thick woods. Carried by G force deep into underbrush pray for survival. To avoid somehow a limb breaking and staking the windshield. I'm a passenger and I have a passenger. I'm also the driver. I yell to lay down. The passenger is stunned doesn't listen. I wonder if its safer to have a safety belt on. My passenger is wearing his I am not. I lay down and ride out the trip and expect the van to flip without me steering. I does not. The underbrush clears and we roll to a stop at the edge of a clearing. I was driving to work now I have to walk. It's a new job but people I know are there. I'm in QA I hate this shit why did I take this job. I'm distracted by the people I know constantly talking to me. And then I realize that to protect my clothes I tied a blanket around my waist walking out of the woods. I am covered in twigs my hair is a mess and I'm sweaty. One friend thinks I'm insane. I think he's gay. I'm right he's wrong. People are singing in the bathrooms. I ask about it. They have a club but I can't join and they are about to leave. I realize I've worked here three days and not accomplished anything yet. I also realize no one has helped or tried to assimilate me into the company. I print up reports to train myself. I'm walking back to my desk when a woman who is a department head stops me and asks for me to follow her. I explain my appearance and my goals with the papers as we walk. She is good with it but makes no gesture to help and her only reason for walking with me is to ensure I'm aware that there is a meeting after work. The location is an office trick. It's at a club so that people won't bitch about being required to work late. I note the trick but no one else does since its stating like a prove lodge to be there. I go to my desk. How did I get this job in this gorgeous building?? My desk overlooks a courtyard the view is from a top floor but lush and rich. What am I doing here?? I'm self conscious but everyone is distracted and many companies of people walk the halls ignoring my existence. I go outside to smoke and bring the papers to read. There are boulders to sit on surrounding well manicured lawns and the building rises out of nature itself higher than the tress that surround it. I settle on one and start to read. Thunder . I look up blue sky. Thunder again. Closer. Menacing. Still blue sky. I decide to go back in and as I'm walking I see the dark clouds racing toward the building. They are thick and ugly and swirling low. Moving faster than I've ever seen clouds move and I almost lose my race to beat rain to the entrance. I made a good call to protect myself and my work. My hand is on the door handle but the wind and the weight of the door keep it closed. The building has suctioned the entrance effectively locking the door. In the reflection of the glass door I see a whirlwind of dark cloud reaching down behind me. It's wind try's to drag me from the door. It moves closer and it's base is the width of a man as it forms a clear spiral behind me. I refuse to look back. Throwing my weight into pulling the door open and breaking the suction to get to safety. It works. The door flies open I have to pull it closed behind me. And as I do the whirlwind and I are face to face only feet away it spins. I get the sense of it having intent. I shut the door and the next inner door is also difficult to open. The whirlwind watches me struggle with it. I watch it spin behind me again reflected in the glass. I'm relieved but not gloating. The whirlwind seems to be waiting for me to come back outside. I get the door wrestled open and go inside. Back to my beautiful desk. Pools of people are leaving. What time is it? What time did I get here? Was I late? No I was early. Hours early. I don't understand. My sense of time is skewed differently than theirs. I see people I'm acquainted with from other jobs passing by some remember me some do not. I try to focus. It's impossible with the mob of people flowing by my desk. I would stay and work but remember the meeting. I get up and join the people river immediately swept into the crowds flow. I start talking to a girl. The girl in front of me turns to listen. She starts talking smak. Uninvited into the conversation but has some issue with me being friendly with the person I'm speaking to. I realize the river is running away from or perhaps now toward the location the whirlwind coins have moved to on the other side of the building. I try to tell the girl and the crowd and the insolent girl ahead of me mouths off. I react without thinking and slap her head so hard it reels forward. The crowd flows around her as she loses her balance and I am swept away from any fight she might want to continue. She lost before she opened her mouth and the punch instead of an argument caught her off guard. She's gone I move on. At the end of the river is a church. It's under construction. Two denominations are fighting over the people and the space. Both teach at once. It's a ridiculous noise. Singing different hymns at the same time. Confusing and unclear who to follow. I'm angry. Planning to leave. This was not my destination in the first place. The congregation I'm attached to stands to sing again and a child screams fitfully at the inconvenience. The woman I spoke to screams for it to shut up. It doesn't work. In the middle of the singing and screaming a woman starts teaching. Like anyone can hear her. That's it I'm out. I push through the crowd to escape this idiocy and pandemonium. It takes forever to get through the thick noisy crowd. On the other side I see the woman , the preacher. I'm pissed I head for her she sees me coming and pointedly turns and starts walking away. No you aren't getting away from what I'm going to say to you. Now I'm fuming her attitude equals her leadership skills. Both lack any sense of decorum or care for her people. I rip into her with a verbal scathing assault and tell her that both her and her church are worthless. And she should be fired. No one will pay her especially me!!!! She laughs like I'm the joke. Her statement .... They don't have to pay her. Money is shipped in from other locations because everyone feels sorry for this one. And she plans for it to stay this way. They pay her better to run the shit into the ground. What a bitch. I cold cock her and stomp away. She can pay for her broken nose job with her pity money. I heard bone crack when I landed my punch in the middle of her smug face. I remember my car. I have to walk home and the whirlwind is probably settled outside waiting for me. I'll out wait it and pace the now empty building; miss church, fuck the meeting, fuck the moron job that expects me to train myself, fuck the singers. I'll stay the night and sleep at my desk. I think of office space and Todd my work in the trash. I'm winging it already. Fuck the reports. And fuck walking home. I wonder how my passenger is. I'm sure he is fine. It was my son. I think he stayed with the van waiting for it to be towed. I get the sense that it is but by accident. The help that arrives was meant for someone else and he commandeers it for himself. I actually see the scene play out and laugh at how smart he is. Like I'm looking down on the scene from my desk high above the clearing. He refuses to take no for an answer. I'm proud of the man he is. And sorry I was driving the van he is towing. I can't fix it only explain the brakes failed. He understands and no one else cares. I set my heart and mind to beating the whirlwind. Wind not brakes is my new research project. I will beat it. It waits to fight. It will get one but only when I'm ready.
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