Today, come to think of it, I read a book that changed my life. It wasn't really a very special book, though to be honest. I had just asked for something to read, and Rachel, a girl who comes to school early with me to the library, told me to read this. Just Listen, it was called, and it was about discovering yourself, and being yourself. It was about opening up the secrets that you want to be hidden, and coping with the ups and downs of plain life. Now it might not sound like much, but I knew, as soon as I closed the book, that it also put across a very simple message. I'm Not Perfect. And no, it wasn't like those cliques where there is always one girl on the outside of a 'popular group' complaing that she was never good in life, ect ect. And it wasn't like one of those books where the girl suddenly becomes perfect all of a sudden, and everything turns out right. No, it was a book that just simply said, I'm not perfect, but then again, no-one is. I will never become perfect. And everyone that I think is perfect always has a few things that just aren't right. I will accept who I am and try and cope my best with everything under the circumstances. That was one of the most meaningful messages, that I had ever got before from a teenage high school book.
One of the best messages in the book was, to find yourself. Find someone or something that you could give your emotions to, without effort but still find meaning. It was about opening yourself up, no matter how hard it might be, or even if it hurt the people around you.
I especially liked this book, because I found that I could relate to it personally. I don't think myself as perfect, but my friends tell me otherwise. "You're so happy" They'd say. Or they might give me some other compliment that would mean absolutely nothing to me because I would never think of it to be true. It is still not, but I like to hear it, because it is funny that people would think that when they barely know me.
And now, I notice that everyone that I wish I was, wish for other things too. There is a girl called Autumn, which I would do anything to just be like her. She plays viola, and is good enough for some state thing, she was in the inter-school athletics carnival even without training, is polite and breathtakingly pretty, and snogs Tall Drew (my ex used-to-like).
I also play viola (barely well) got into reserve athletics (I actually did train. No joke.) I am bossy and rude a lot of the time (I honestly don't mean to) and Drew, who I actually knew since kindergarten, does not even bother saying hi to me anymore.
But, nevertheless, I see her sometimes try to join in with a conversation with some other girls, and she doesn't fit in. I can see her….Wait. I don't actually have any other examples of her being non-perfect, but I'm sure there is some. I'll find it one day.