thesun

i wake up and the sun is a cancer. it is on me, it is inside of me. it is early. it is so hot. it is so bright. i can hear the water and it waits patiently for me, as it has all night. it waits pateinetly to claim me. i am still here. i am aware. i am aware of myself and i am aware of the air and i am aware that it is moving around me lightly and it feels nice. i do not feel nice. i feel broken. i am not shattered, i am not cracked, i am not functional. something is wrong. i sigh and i frown and i open my mouth wide as i turn onto my stomach. my head drops onto my folded arms and i inhale the smell of my own skin. it smells clean and it smells good. i want someone else to smell it and smile and feel wonder at it. i want him to smell it. i want him to fall in love with it. and i never want him to be able to move on. i look at the house and it looks at me and its covred in shadows