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Boy's handbook to Girls!

Miscellaneous By: Iva Stone Adair
Other


Here are somethings that me and a friend of mine came up with for guys! [[[ with some help from "The Book of Luke ]]]


Submitted:Dec 7, 2008    Reads: 115    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   


* From "The book of Luke"

*1. Forget EVERYTHING you think you know about girls. You know NOTHING!

2. Throwing a football at someone who is paying attention is fine. Throwing a football going 80 miles and hour at some ones ASS is not! [[[ Kelsie ]]]

3. Guys get off of the computer once in a while, we are interesting too! [[[ Katie ]]]

*4. You penis will not shrivel up and die if you admit you want an umbrella instead of standing in the rain acting like a little water never hurt anyone. It's an umbrella, NOT A PURSE!

*5. If you choose to ignore tip 4 , do NOT suggest a wet t-shirt contest. You're not funny and not all girls want to be in Girls Gone Wild!

*6. Do not blame my tone of voice, my lack of patience, or my bad moon on PMS. Most likely, it's you!

*7. Just because you can piss anywhere you want to doesn't mean you should do it!

*8. Just because all the food on my plate is not gone by the time you inhale yours does NOT mean I will not keep eating. It also doesn't mean you have the right to just reach over to my area and grab as much as you want. Ask and we will probably say yes.

*9. It's a remote control, NOT a symbol of your supreme power over the universe. Give us the remote and let us pick the show. Seriously, would it kill you?

*10. Believe it or not, if we have money we do not mind paying for ourselves [ or even you! ] So don't go through all the drama of faking the loss of your wallet or telling us that you gave your last five bucks the Salvation Army Santa you passed on your way down the street.

*11. Tossing food in the air is not something to be applauded. Unless you you're an act at Sea World.

*12. PEOPLE can have nicknames. BODY PARTS should not!

13. "Girl" is another word for "Human Lie Detector". You WILL get caught if you lie. DO NOT do it!

*14. Make a note of a few basic things early on: my hair color, how I look in a pair of jeans, the fact that I have a full set of teeth. You can remember the 1998 line up to the Packers, the LEAST you can do is remember our EYE COLOR!

15. When talking to a girl, talk to her… NOT her TITS! They have been there for a while and I'm VERY sure they will be there for a lot longer.

16. "That's what SHE said," is funny once in a while. NOT ALL THE TIME! [[[ Kelsie ]]]

*17. Don't lay your hand on the top of a girls head and pretend to stroke her hair while you [ not so subtly] push her head down to suck you off. We know what you are doing!

*18. Do not call me and expect me to hold a conversation by my self or sit there and play X-box [ this include ALL game stations ] while I try to tell you about why I am crying! [ Phone sex is NOT a conversation!]

19. Talking about ex-girlfriends is NOT ok. It annoys the fuck out of us. [[[ Kelsie and Katie ]]

*20. When you sit with us and your arm is around our shoulders, make sure your hand is NOT on our boob. Try our arm or something!

*21. The way a guy scratches his crotch or adjusts his junk in public, rummaging around like he is looking for something down there is NOT what we want to see!

22. Just because your ass itches does not mean you have to scratch it in front of everyone! There is a place called the BATHROOM! [[[ Kelsie ]]]

*23. Turning your clothes inside out does not mean they are clean. It just means we can read that your shirt has to be machine washed in cold water and tumbled dry.

*24. Bed-head is NOT a hair-style. Show a little effort. It can go a long way!

*25. We are not perfect. We can admit it. Why cant you?

26. Texting in someone's ear for half-an-hour is not ok! If you call, talk to us! If WE call you, tell us you don't want to talk at the moment. [[[ Kelsie ]]]

27. Just because we beat you at something doesn't mean that you HAVE to beat us at it next time we play and it doesn't meant that you have to play it over and over and over until you become the BEST at it! [[[ Kelsie ]]]

28. Just because you know the make and model of a car and how fast it goes with the normal engine in it, does not mean we want to know it! Nor are we interested.

These are from random girls and what pissesthem off about you guys!

29. The fact that most of the time guys can't be serious about anything until it comes to sex but even then you treat it like it's a game.

30. When he talks to his best female friend more then me

31. When he jumps to conclusions and makes assumptions that are way off.

32. When they're an inch from your lips but they don't kiss you.

33. When they say things to try and impress their guy friends.

34. When he says hi and goes completely quiet for an hour. then says the he has to go to bed.

35. When they ignore me as soon as they get what they want from you.

35.How they cheat on us
they say I love you and don't mean it
say they love us just to get down our pantS

36. How they can flirt with other girls as much as they want but if you were to flirt with another guy, you're the one whose being unfair.
And if you get mad at them about it, they act like they have no idea what they're talking about.

Oh also when you're making out and he's watching TV over your shoulder.

And finally, how when you get mad at them about something they did, they somehow turn it around so you end up apologizing for something they did





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