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The Personal Biography of a Potato

Miscellaneous By: Jett Watson

An (a)typical summary of an (ab)normal author-to-be.

Submitted:Jul 9, 2012    Reads: 35    Comments: 6    Likes: 1   

I recently made a writing goal to myself: to write one short story, one poem, and 10 pages of my novel a week. Unfortunately, I can be numbered among the hordes of procrastinators and unmotivated wanna-be authors that mope about the face of this beautiful, distracting planet we call Earth. Thus, I decided to join this pleasant little site in the hopes that potential readers and commenters might encourage me enough to consistently write. Or, failing that, provide a decent distraction so that I may justify my procrastination with a little, "But I promised so-and-so that I would read their novel! I only have 299562631657452132 pages left to go!"

Before I hear any accusations, I must assure you that no, I most certainly am NOT writing this bio to give myself further reason to procrastinate. I am writing it because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. Just what are you insinuating? I am greatly offended.


My alleged name is Jett Watson. I originally wanted to go with the classic "J. Watson," but, alas, that alias belongs to another anonymous writer, and I grudgingly settled for the less assuming "Jett Watson." I am a gender inspecific, ageless, wanna-be author. (define "author": A socially acceptable form of delusional insanity, frequently identified by antisocial persons who desire an excuse for their hermit-like nature.) I know what you must be thinking. How may a gentile, sociable person -- such as myself -- who clearly has swarms of friends and fans who worship the very ground I walk upon be gender inspecific? Allow me to explain. I may be a male, or I might be of more feminine nature, but I'm probably an asexual, self-sufficient life form, such as a potato, or perhaps a bean.

But don't permit that to affect your idolatrous image of me. I am amazing. This one person hinted that their neighbor's best friend's uncle's stepmother's dog's previous owner's murderer might have said so once. And they wouldn't lie to me. Probably.


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