Notebook Writings #1

We have no power but what we have created

 

 

 

 

 

There comes a time in every mans life when he FUCKS UP. He doesn't take the blame for something of which he is to blame. He fails completley, he becomes A LOSER! Not though by anyones finger but his own. This is important to fucking up. If people judge you, that doesn't mean theres anything wrong with you, it just means their judgement is not with you, and they don't understand. But a Fuck Up is someone who fails by themselves, because of themselves, and the results are terrifying for them. Fucking up usually means (almost always) someone is then better than you because you are a low loser now. Every man will go through it. It sucks, but that's what happens.

 

 

 

 

 

It is in my deepest moments, in the deep of the night, that suddenly the feelings of my childhood, the euphoric joys and emotional sweepings, fill me. The obsessions and ecstatic certainties again take their place, and I fall in love. I fall in love with the faces in my head, and the world! Joy! Forever the eternal love will fill the world around me and it is in these moments I feel I have overcome the ugly state of weakness. I feel the rising of spirituality, the heightening of emotions and joys more fulfilling, the sadness more piercing, the future and progress in place. I have felt the weakness too long, so long it seemed I'd never return. But I have. The deepest moments will uncoil, and everyday will fill up with this newfound vitality! Shit will happen, again.

 

 

 

 

 

Truth- honest truth- by this point prove that he was fucking naked. A genuinely fucked young man in the anals of both his mind and the society at large. One must question his unwanted vanity; is it a product of his assholism, frank pretensions? Or is it a consequence of a realization too great to ignore? It is both. Both of these are the answer, and that is the problem. The problem is that so much fuckery has enhanced this mystery to become a combination of the senses and quite impossible to pinpoint. However, this could be said- He is lost, you know. Whether in truth or not. He became lost. A man whose own products moulded him. Therefore he cannot experience joy at first hand unless it is his first hand that creates it. A man whose mind was full with ideas, and who had the hands to create them - he lived through his creations. But what when his creations die? Or if they become too alive? If the power of overwhelms him to the point of truth. Distorted in the eyes of before, yes, but ultimatley new in an unavoidable sense, a longing forever he cannot shake.

 

 

 

 

 

The growth of a girl is fascinating. As young girls, depending on the girl, they're happy and talkative, so full of life, so beautiful in their innocence. Total life. As they grow to be a certain age, they start learning things, almost becoming aware of what they're supposed to be, or what they "want" to be. This phase is unbelievably sad. It's the loss of innocence, which is the essence of everything sad (think about it, when your sad because you can't swim in the pool because Billy the owner doesn't want you to, that decision causes you to miss out on a moment, a feeling of innocence which has been taken away from you. If youre sad because you don't want innocence, thats not sadness. I don't know what that is. Sadness?). In this stage, they become aware of too much. Thus (what other word?) they close up, and they become girls. This is not an insult. It is the truth. A good man will make a woman/girl feel younger. The same can be said of a guy. But guys from a young age have been for nothing but assholism. Then there are human beings. Girls are the saddest, most beautiful things in the world. If most people weren't offended, there'd be a lot less problems.

 

 

 

 

 

Life is a problem, the only answer is SUICIDE.

 

 

 

 

 

The only true answer to a question is another question.

 

 

 

 

 

If you won once, and then you lose again, the only person you lost to is yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

Hope is good in moderation

 

 

 

 

 

The more power you gain, the more sadness you're storing up for when you lose that power.

 

 

 

 

 

It might feel good now, but it'll hurt like hell in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Its not how far you search, its how hard you search.

 

 

 

 

 

You are always innocent in someones eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

Jumping into other peoples nostalgia, as well as your own, should always be a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

A natural girl is the most beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

Death isn't scary if you embrace it