Yesterday, I was talking to a friend while having lunch at a restaurant, and unconsciously we were making up stories about the people entering the restaurant and also about the ones that were already there...so during all this made up stories he said to me "I believe people are just passing in our lives", to what I said I know, that's what I believe too", so then the topic moved to something else that I'm gonna write here....
Maybe this could make some people feel uncomfortable or make them think that I'm just a bad person who doesn't care about family, marriage, relationships or commitment, the fact is that I care about people (lately myself too) being happy. I am usually happy by helping others, listening to them, and sometimes even help them to overcome some hard issues just by giving them the ugly but sincere truth, at least from my point of view (I don't think there's and absolute truth about certain things). I've had probably 5 relationships in my life, some very meaningful and some not so much, but all them left me something to remember and to work on. Fear, compassion, hate, give without expecting, trust not a 100%, and of course, never leave your family or friends aside because of a relationship.
Until a certain point in my life I never thought about trying to get a woman that was in a relationship (either serious, open, or even married). So sometimes you meet people, you connect, you know things are going great, but you had no idea they were in a relationship already...to which the old me would had say "no way I'm getting in there"....Well, since a while I think, why not?, she wants you, you want her, so what's stopping you. And this works on both sides, cause she/he may be thinking (sometimes people think before they do, others just assume the consequences) "but I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife", to what I would say, then "why are you thinking about this". You see, I go with what your gut tells you, and always following my feelings....so I let go (at least now).
So if you think you're in love, but then you meet someone that rocks your world or whatever you wanna call it, then something is happening in your actual relationship that is not completing your life, at least in that aspect. It's like you're having a chocolate ice-cream (my favorite), and then you see someone having a vanilla (also my favorite) one an you start craving it....I would definitely get the vanilla one too, it doesn't mean you're gonna eat both (you wish), just drop the first one. Some say, but I have kids, to what I say, "so you think your kids are happy knowing that you are not"? I know kids want their parents to be together as a family (and they should try to make it work as hard as they can), but if the marriage is not working, and you try to do it for the kids, that may be even worse...sometimes it actually works better when you split, and parents can actually get along...anyways this is not the point of this post.
So, when you say, "oh that one's taken so forget about him/her", well, he/she is taken, but forget about it no. He/she may be with someone at the moment, but maybe he/she was with someone else before the actual one too...so you may be the future one (that was confusing). I'm not saying that you should go there and play all your cards, because you also should have a little respect for the relationship they have (this is in the case you know they are with someone else at the moment), but if they are the ones approaching to you, well then you know that they are looking for something, and who are you to say no :) (assume the consequences though).
I don't believe in the ideal person, but I do believe that there's someone that can change your life in a positive way...so if you just ended a relationship that you though was the one, well forget about it, just keep going, not looking for it, but keep yourself open to the possibility of finding someone else that will connect with you in a way that no one has done before... and you won't be the reason of them breaking up, you would just be the straw that broke the camel on their relationship, so don't feel bad. The best relationship I have had was with my best friend at that time, and she was dating one of my best friends....I don't regret it at all (she's married now, and he's dating another girl too). So what I'm saying is that you shouldn't discard some people because they're with someone else (if you like them of course), because that someone else could be the one that helps her to realize that she wants you instead (which also happens to me), of course is not easy to be the someone else at that point...but life goes on, and everybody has been dumped before (if you had not, then is just a matter of time)...
And once more, I don't support infidelity at all, I have never actually been unfaithful in my life (they've done it to me though, more than once). If I am in a relationship and I "notice" someone else, I just go for it cause it's what I feel, but before, I end my actual relationship, even when I don't know if the new thing is going somewhere or not...but if I had the intention to be with that other person, that's telling that I need something else that I'm not getting from my actual special person. All of this comes of course after trying to work things out, just don't make it a nightmare, or a very hard relationship....if you wait for too long before making your decision to dump him/her, it's very probable that you end up hating each other...so don't stretch the elastic till the point it breaks...All people should feel free to do what they want, which doesn't mean leaving responsibilities aside, it just means that you should eliminate the "I can't" from your vocabulary, and start using the "I don't want to" instead, cause all the decisions in your life should be made from you only...it's your life, and if you live it right and you're happy about it, then you can make your close people happy too...
Just my simple thoughts :)
ps: again, I don't think I'm gaining any followers with this one :)
ps2: I'm not paying Nike for this