From the time I woke up this morning I've had the wonderful pleasure of knowing that I died last night. Yes, I did die last night, or I think I'm dead. I've never felt so much pain in my life. It was as if someone tortured me for hours on end. I can't remember my name, I can't remember where I'm from or who I've ever loved. I'm an empty shell. When I look at myself I know I'm beautiful. I have blonde hair that glistens in the light, arms for holding a woman and legs that can carry me far. I can feel the strength inside of me as if it has never been used. I don't understand how it happened but I'm here in this vacant room.
Everything is so clean, the chairs aren't beat up like they would have been in a house that was lived in and the floors were polished with not even a scratch. I can remember vacantly that someone with a pretty face once told me that she didn't think there was anything after death. I know there is loneliness, I know there is quietness, I know there once was pain but there is pain no more. I don't understand how it happened, but after I died I felt reborn but in a place I cannot escape.
For hours on end I could feel the walls closing in around me and my space shrinking. It's as if I were shrinking to a pocket sized me. I felt trapped and alone. There was no other way to explain it. If there were I would explain it.
"Is there anyone here?" My voice was a soft whisper but it echoed of the walls with a loud rumble. "Hello?" My voice louder this time came back in a soft whisper. Logic told me this was ridiculous. I kept hearing a small voice inside of me thatwas saying I didn'tbelong here.I believed it.
After a day ofsitting around andfeeling completelystupid I decided enough was enough. I wanted out of this place. I wanted to knowwho I wasand why I was here.If I should be dead then don't I just close my eyes andnever wake up? Whydid Ihave the funnysense that everything I once knew was being thrown back atme in a timeless laugh. Ifelt likeifI ever knownanything then up to this momentit was wrong.When I realized my world was flipping and my senses started coming back to me I couldremember my name. "Gabriel" I let it spill off my tongue. I had afeeling like it had neverbeen spoken from my own mouth. It was as if the word had never been used before.Something inside me said that I didn'tneed anything more than my name now.
"What do you want?Why am I here? Where am I?" The questions poureddown like rain. Hitting the floor asif the answers didn't matter."WillI ever leave this place?"
For an instant I thought I heard a replybut not my echo this time around.It was a soft and sweet voice of a woman.And then it came tome again, "You will leave this place, after youlearn whatmatters."
"Iknow what matters. My name is Gabrieland there is nothingmore that matters."
"Andso then, you are selfish, you believeyou are theonly one that matters."
"No! Everything matters, Idon't know,what is this a test?" He askedthe unfamiliar voice.
"Not just atest, we want to be sureyou are the right one."
"The right one forwhat?"
"For everything." She replied softly.