Breaking Free of Depression
Early Childhood Memories
- As far back as I can remember I had a rough start to life. My parents were not rich but they were not poor either. My mum and my dad split up when I was little. Mum moved to Sydney with my two older sisters and my younger sister on the way.
- While my dad faced court several time in order to "rescue my sisters and I". It was not over till it was officially over.
- As a child my Sisters and I were forced to live with my Mum. While dad tried to gain custody. For two years it was an outright custody battle.
- While living with mum I was not treated fairly. As any normal child should be treated. We were constantly on the run. Moving from house to house in the middle of the night each and every time. Losing things we loved while on the run.
- As a child we would walk into pubs barefooted with broken glass everywhere.
- We would not celebrate Christmas or any special occasion.
- Finally Mum had the sense to stop running for only a little while. She dropped my two older sisters and I at a very dreadful place. Which turned out to be a relative.
- We went to School once, from where we were situated but I only went to school for one day and it was the day where I learnt French. Although not much.
- Finally the day arrived. My dad finally got custody of my younger sister and I as we were his biological children.
Growing Up With Depression
- Growing up was not as easy as people would think.
- I would have vivid nightmares, and a bad attitude.
- I would cry and scream and chuck the hugest tantrums. I would LIE. I could even become very violent if I felt it was necessary.
- I felt unloved and ready to give up life as it was becoming harder to live.
- I have no goal in life. I don't have any hobbies. I would still rather sit alone at lunch then with friends. As I find it easier to deal with life, instead of pretending to be someone I'm not. Just so I can keep up with appearances.
Living Life at age 17
- Today I feel perfect. Not absolutely brilliant, but I am still perfect. I now have patience with life. As much as I would have liked to end my life. My time is not yet up.
- Without any of my trials and suffering. I would not have strengthened my heart and my soul.
- The more I care for happiness of other people. I end up gaining my true sense of wellbeing.
- I always smile. I have a very kind listening ear when someone needs a shoulder to cry on. Throughout my experience I have found out that I am not alone and there are others out there that need help. Just as I did.
Why Depression ?
- I have suffered through rough times for a very long time. Now I want things to change for the better of everyone else.
- People who usually suffer depression cannot speak out. They feel trapped. Isolated from the rest of the world. When all they want is to ask for help. People never listen. They don't pay attention to what is actually going on with there friends lives.
Devoting oneself to help others with Depression
Happiness Always Looks Small While You Hold It In Your Hands, But Let It Go, And You Learn At Once How Big And Precious it is.
Discovering Symptoms of Depression
- Can be very emotional.
- Does not like to talk to people.
- Crying unexpectedly.
- Feeling trapped.
- Can become angry when agitated.
- Could self harm e.g. scratching, and cutting themselves.
Helpful tips for living with Depression
- You can help people suffering from depression by talking to them. Getting someone else to talk to them. Maybe see a professional. Which they can give out information. As well as help solve problems and issues. They can help you feel better about your life.
- Getting regular counselling sessions, Even just talking to your very close good friends because they love you and care for you and can make you feel better.
Common Areas that Generate Depression
- Lack of social support.
- Marital or relationship problems.
- Recent stressful life experience.
- Early child hood trauma or abuse.
Reflection of my Depression
She goes about her day to day and does her duties to
She cries alone and works her way through fears and self rejection.
No one knows this angel is carrying around such grief.
If they only saw a glimpse of things they'd sigh in disbelief.
She seems to be so perfect not one single flaw.
Everyone looks at her with envy If they only knew it all.
Her heart aches with loneliness and her tears disguised with pride.
Why does she care what they think its becoming too much for her to hide.
She sits at home and pours her heart out to a man that doesn't really care.
He never hears a word she says he looks right through her as if she's not really there.
She is running out of friends to confide in and family's gone astray.
Alone and broken hearted, she slits her wrists and slowly fades away.
Looking Forward to the Future
Looking into the future
something my past didn't see.
The outcome of my experience
has allowed God to transform me.
Longing to be alive
for within I was dead.
Darkness was my company
and each day I dread.
Walking with a lost soul
Understanding nothing at hand
I once had a goal
My dreams turned to sand.
Seeking the face of comfort
To captivate my distressed mind.
can't give up on life
Hope, I must find.
Thank God I found hope
In the midst of the dark
Pursuing to find some light
Until it penetrates in my heart.
Now that I'm blessed with life
and has allowed God to transform me.
I'm excited about the future
Something my past didn't see.