This poem, yes this poem, is for the pillow clutchers
For those looking into the imaginary eyes of the person who fills their mind with sugarplum smiles
For those who have a cannon of dreams ready and waiting to blossom
For the men and the women who want to be understood in that way that only someone who kisses you can understand you
This poem is for you
This poem is not for the desperate, the pathetic, the lame, the loser
Not for the one who hasn't gotten laid in a while
Not for the one who says their 'choosing,' you know, 'not to date for a while'
There is no such thing
this poem is for the people who cannot bring themselves to admit that they would give their right leg for any length of time with the person on their mind.
I am not a brave woman
I do not know what lurks in the hearts of humans, and I don't really want to know
If what's there mirrors memories I show in my face on bad days it shows
Kisses that are long gone, people who have disappeared, and passions that have faded into the ether of the past
And that is the one lesson this coward can say she is able to teach
This poem is for all those who wish to say 'I'm sorry'
I'm sorry I couldn't love you
You deserve love
I'm sorry I couldn't give something to you
You deserve to be given to
I'm sorry that for every person that loves somebody another person just doesn't want to
And sometime, we're the lucky ones right?
We get to feel sweet truth in the night
The bodies we reach out to are miraculously there
But I know the despair that comes when they're not
I know the long nights and the doubt and the fear
And the crawling back to a womb that just isn't there
I know intensity's address and the let down that rents there
I'm sorry for it
It takes years off your life
And it cannot be avoided
And sometimes these little words
Are the crutches for the crush that we feel
So this poem is a pathetic vehicle to tell you, each one of you, that I love you
In so many ways
In the same ways that stay up nights and days
Dreaming up the perfect way to be there for someone
Meals you would cook for them, poems you would write for them, and the things you plan to say when they say 'no'
Well I love you
And you will never know how in the slight of a magician's hand we could have been lovers and grandly in love, could have changed the whole game
Written words on the horizon
Changed the compromise
But you will know something else instead
Bitter as bitter gets
More bitter than a rotten peach pit
More bitter than a child's most terrifying nightmare at night
You will know that I don't reflect what I see in your eyes
We will share some banal recognition
Some cordial understanding
But have I mentioned that I love you for being honest?
Did I mention that I love you for not lying?
So many people lying all the time, and I hate them
So I love you
And you will still go home alone. And that is very hard to do.
For all the humans with love for those who aren't their lovers, I love you
And so the poem ends, because we know that it will
But before it slips away, like everything else
I will attempt the only words I can think of that are a fraction as good as a kiss
When you stay at home at night, thinking of those who are long gone, or those who are getting kisses from someone who is not you, I love you
For those who want what they probably need and for those whose bodies are
Starving, not for food, for me, and for you
And for all the people who never knew or understood what you would do for them - I love you
I love you
I love you