What's a friend?
-A friend is someone you can turn to, in times of need & times of simple bliss. Whether you're sad, happy or simply bored, a real friend would always manage to be there for you.
-Even though he seems to have the world in his palms, he grieves, for there's no one to share it with: neither a lover nor a companion. Living, not for so long, but long enough to realize that a friend is not someone easy to stumble upon, at least, not a real friend. He thinks back of when he thought he had it all; recalls all the faces he's been through, all the names he had once called a friend. Where are they now, these once loved ones? Were they at home, slacking off? Or out with their posse's, partying till they passed out? When he thought he had someone he could lean on, he was wrong, and became too dependent. She helped, but she wasn't there for him - was that a friend though? He did appreciate everything she did, everything everyone else did, but when he needed them the most, or not, when he simply wanted someone by his side, why wasn't anyone there? Where he could relate to them, friends or not! Where were they in the end? Even if they do ask him what was wrong, he tells them. But later on, where are they? Gone with the wind. Even when they say 'come to me when there's something wrong, I'll be there for you', he does. He does go to them, but eventually, where are they? When he doesn't need them though, will they be there when he merely wants them? Doubtful, highly doubtful & disappointing. There are people who claim to be friends, but they turn out to be people who are nothing but curious - & people who only ask to make it seem like they cared, and like he mattered. They didn't know that in reality, he did matter, they just didn't see the potential in him. And people who ask, that take pleasure in knowing he's in pain, were the worst, and there were many like that he's went through. It was lonely at the top of the mountain, he knew, but was there no one below to support him and catch him if he fell; to push him back up to his feet? Maybe not...maybe yes - but they wouldn't be there forever. Why though? He did not know. How could a friend get sick of helping out another friend - it's ridiculous...friendships like these are a disappointment. All he can do now, is accept it and be nice - but even so, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore. How could one live this way, with no one but themselves? No one understands what he's going through - he explains and they see the pain, but still...there's no change.
He learned after a few more years, that in the end, you stand alone. No one will be there no matter how many times you ask, you cry, you defeat yourself and beat yourself down needlessly, no matter how vulnerable you seem...the ones whom you thought were your friends, would not be there for you, not always if most of the time. Also, even when not in your darkest hour - in fact even in your brightest moment, you find yourself alone. He learned this - even if he did though, and he does get used to it, it doesn't seem to stop, and the disappointments continue as well...
He learned that: no one was a real friend, whether betrayed or simply left behind, he was always alone.
He sits alone and most of the time surrounded by people he thought he could call his friends, and some he actually does call his friends, and accepts life as it comes to him, friend-full or not.