I have fake nails.
On all
twenty
digits.

I used to hate when girls did that.

They looked like someone had stuck giant square tiles
on the tips of their fingers.

All square
and thick
and glossy.

I swore
in my spikey-haired
combat boot,
thrift-clothed
grandeur,
that I would
NEVER
do
that.

Here I am.

As to the extreme ridges in all of my nails,
the quirky dermatologist said,
"it seems that you nervously pick at your cuticles."

I neither confirmed nor denied the accusation.

"I would get fake nails put on all of them.
That should keep you from messing with them."

And it felt as though someone had given me permission
to be artificial.

I left the dermatologist,
recording her audio record of my visit,
and went straight to Diamond Nails.

"You want on all toes?"

"Yes, all of my fingers and toes."

"You doan really need on all toes--juss BIG toe..."

"My dermatologist said I should get them on all toes.
To prevent picking..."

"Oh--okay."

I just got my first maintenance "fill,"
and it seems unavoidable,
that I will always have to come home,
remove the shop polish,
no matter how cute,
and file them into a natural shape.

But
all in all,
it's nice
to have
pretty
nails.