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Just something that i wanted to share. Please read it to the end and comment. Thanks =)


Submitted:Aug 2, 2010    Reads: 70    Comments: 5    Likes: 0   



People have problems. That's life. But it's those problems that could very possibly help save a life. Last Saturday, I went to my "church" (I don't really go there anymore), because they were showing a movie for the public called "To Save A Life." I don't know exactly who went, there wasn't that many, but those who didn't, TOTALLY missed out.
I have been struggling, for years now, because of something that happened to me. I want to be able to be completely honest with all of you. The reason why I would raise my hand and come up for prayer every Thursday night here at youth, was because from the ages of 5-12 my cousin molested me.
It didn't start out as that, because, I mean come on, I was five. He started by just touching me in places I shall not mention, and then it turned into something more as I got older.
For years I have been depressed and confused and just…blah. I didn't want to talk to anyone or be around people. I just wanted to stay in my room, think, cry, and think some more. I was thinking "Why?". Like most ask. Why God? Why are you putting me through this?!
I was shouting at God and getting angry and just thought that God was torturing me for fun. That wasn't the situation.
Now, I have always believed in the saying "Everything happens for a reason." Even when "That" was happening. I didn't know the reason for it, but I just knew that there was a reason.
A couple weeks ago on Thursday night at The First Assembly Of God youth group, a bunch of people talked, aka testimonies. It all ended with someone asking everyone if they had a feeling or whatever (he didn't say whatever but you know…whatever Lol) sorry, I'm trying to be completely serious Lol, that's my last laugh until I finish writing this…well maybe not…I'm watching Friends as I write this so…yea.
But ANYWAYS, he said if you had a feeling or whatever that you were sent to minister, then come up. Took me awhile, but I finally (slowly) stood up and went to the only person I feel comfortable praying for me, Lindsey Cage.
I (slowly) walked up to her and she smiled. I really already expected that because she always smiles when I come up. I told her that I might, possibly, someday want to go into ministry (but again, I didn't like talking to people). She smiled and asked me what kind of ministry I wanted to go into: travel, youth, be a pastor (to older folks is what she means), or what?
I started to say youth but traveling is all that I've ever wanted to do and…I just read all this and its seems kind of pointless but PLEASE stick with me till the end. Anyway, I told her I would like to travel and minister.
She was all like cool and smiled and stuff, then she started to pray for me. After she was done, she told me to get down on my knees and talk to God about it.
That is when I kind of…stopped. I felt very self-conscious already. And being the only one to get down on my knees and talk to air didn't seem very…yea. I didn't want to do it. But she encouraged me and I finally stepped up to the stage and got down on my knees, closed my eyes, and talked (in my mind) to God.
I told him that I wanted to go to different countries and talk to people. Help them. I asked him to get me out of my shyness.
It went on and (Please still stick with me, I'm getting to the end, promise) and I started asking God (not yelling) why he was putting me through all this crap (not just with my cousin, there was other stuff). And…I'm not crazy…but he did talk to me.
Ever since I was little I didn't believe in praying that much because I couldn't hear him like others said they could. So I felt like I was bad and God didn't want to talk to me. So I just stopped praying.
I had been wishing so many times that I was dead. That I could get the guts to kill myself. And that night, I finally told him that I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to be like this. I wanted to leave the past in the past! I WANTED! But he said that everyone can want.
Everyone does want, but you have to believe (corny, I know, but stick with me). You have to make yourself believe that the past is the past. That its over. You don't have to worry about it anymore. It done.
This happened to make you stronger. (God is still talking by the way, this isn't me saying this). This happened because you ARE sent to minister. You can relate to people who have been through the same thing, while others can't. Most of those people are afraid to talk to "regular" people because they don't get where they are coming from. YOU do. You can reach to the people who don't believe in me. You can reach to the people that push me and everyone else away. YOU are not worthless. You have a purpose. A VERY important purpose. I didn't want to see you hurt this much, but I didn't stop it because I needed you to go through this to help me out. To help me and everyone around you. Because so many people in this room are wearing fake smiles right now. YOU need to help talk to them. Show them that you will listen and not judge. Because that's how you are. That's how I made you. You don't judge. You're sweet and friendly and a VERY great listener. I made you exactly how you are for a reason. No one else on this earth can do exactly what I destined for YOU to do. People can try, but it won't be how you could have done it.
And He is telling the truth. He set each and every one of you on this earth for YOUR destiny. To do something that only YOU can do.
You have your WHOLE life ahead and you don't want to spend it locked in a room somewhere instead of helping.
Because that's what you can do. That's what everyone can and should do. You can help by ministering, giving tithe and offering at church, spare some change for a homeless guy. You can donate to a charity.
There is a million things that could help someone. Just even one person.
For example, you can go to www.tosavealifemovie.com
and tell your story. Tell your story of how you were depressed and suicidal or something else. Get personal. Because that is the stuff that helps people. And tell them what helped you or what is helping you get through that difficult time.
Because suicide is the number 1 cause of death with teens. And I used to want to do that. I used to want to kill myself. To just get off this earth because to be honest, this world is falling apart.
But WE are the generation. THE generation. This world is not going to last for very long. I'm not trying to be down but I BELIEVE that God is coming back in this generation. FOR this generation. We were born in this world as it all falls apart.
WE have to spread the word. To help the people that nobody seems to care about.
Telling your story could really help someone. Even one person. Those kind of people just need someone to talk to. But they don't want someone who doesn't get it.
Doesn't get where they are coming from. Doesn't get exactly how that person feels and why that person feels that way.
I've been there. My dad used to beat me till we left. We finally got away and my cousin started touching and molesting me. We finally got away again, and my older brother beat me and touched me. The one uncle I could talk to went and killed himself a couple of years ago. I had my first taste of alcohol and got more (but I stopped). I've been dealing with sex pressure and stuff like that. Temptation is trying to drag me down and I've been giving in but I'm trying to completely stop all of that.
There is a bunch of websites that you can go to to get help and talk to someone. Some websites even let you talk to people who have been where you are.
But those people who have gotten through hard things like this…its time for you to do something.
To stand up! To help out. However you can.
I'm trying to close this out but I don't know how. That's why I haven't shutup. =P sorry.
Well…yea…just wanted to get that out…so…I guess the end?
Oh! And if you live up north in Louisiana, We are showing To Save A Life at the Minden High School auditorium. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come! It's a public event. Totally free. There will be popcorn and drinks (also free). Invite everyone you know.
This film isn't one of those stupid, weird, hard to understand, Christian movies. This movie gets real. And if you do come, don't be shocked that the movie threw out a couple of cuss words because, again, they get real.
This movie deals with drugs, sex, drinking, teen pregnancy, abortion, cutting, suicides, peer pressure, self-consciousness, and everything. It is amazing.
And don't think you can just say "eh, I might just rent it or something" because this movie isn't out to buy or in theaters or to rent. Trey bought it for over 1,000 dollars just to show it. No not illegally. You can go to the website and buy it to show it at schools and churches and stuff for public events. Not for your home. But again, its over 1,000 dollars. Well over 1,500 I think…Idk, I forgot.
It shows at the Minden High School on September 14. ask me if you want more details, but I don't have much. I can give you Trey's email to talk to. He's married by the way so don't try and email him to flirt ;). If you can come then come. BELIEVE ME, its life changing. This would be my third time seeing it and some peoples fifth and nobody gets tired of it. Its AH-mazing =D.
But also If you need to talk just ask. Believe me, some of those websites aren't very good. I've tried a lot of them and they don't help that much. And also I want to talk. If you have questions about suicides, peer pressure about anything, religion, I can talk about it all. And if you don't want to really talk, you just want someone to listen, then I will.
If you love someone…then you need to tell them…because you never know if that is the last chance you get to talk to them. You don't need to say, "I'll talk to them tomorrow" or "I'll call them tomorrow", because you never know when there wont be a tomorrow.
Ok, now I'll shutup =) Thank you guys (for the ones who stayed till the end). This is just a rough draft of what I'm going to preach about at youth. Hope you enjoyed it and I really hope that someone will come to see the movie and I really really hope that someone will talk to me or let me listen.
Also! (I know, I know, you probably really want me to shutup). But! Again if you live in Minden or Heflin or even Shreveport or Ruston Louisiana, then come to this Minden church The First Assembly of God because its awesome and…believe me, there is no just going one time. You will want to go again and again.
You can also go to Living Word Worship Center youth which is on Wednesday (First Assembly of God youth on Thursdays). Living Word is near wal-mart and ask me if you want to know where The First Assembly church is because its small and easy to miss.
Another plus is that there is A LOT of cute guys out there (I'm talking to the girls right now Lol) But believe me there is! What?...I'm still a teenager. One guy there, Aaron, who is one of the cute guys by the way, you can talk to because…yea…he is a good person to talk to if you need it. =)
OK! Now I'm gone! Peace! <3 P.S. Lol sorry its so long. Now Peace! =)
Oh! And! (omg sorry, I promise this is the last thing) but, if you have any websites that could help then please post it down below. =) And sorry that this is so...random...and i jump from point to point and whatever because this isnt one of my best writings but like i said, this is a rough draft of what i will be talking about at my youth group...kinda...not some stuff like where the movie is and stuff cause they know that. That is for you guys =) And please come and see it if you can. Thanks again, And Peace again =D




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