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18 to 19, and the Life Behind the Days of it

Novel By: B Leaf
Other


This is my life the story of it the way I feel the way live the way I love. This is my opinions poetry ideas and interpretation of myself and this world around me. My past my present no matter how dirty I will put them on the table for all to see. This is my writing experiment and in this experiment as I call it I will write every day for the next year of my life about something that well will hopefully let you and possibly myself learn and gain some knowledge or even take a laugh or something out of my story and thoughts. None of this is fiction this is my life and mind frame. Don't forget everyday of life is a chapter in your own book and mine. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45

Submitted: Jul 17, 2008    Reads: 13    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Day 37

I will post the story considering it will more than likely come down off of the web site.  I might watch was to much Oprah but I like it so I don't care.  I posted on the message board in response to this and in response to other peoples postings.  My opinion on this is down at the bottum feel free to leave you own opinions or form them in your mind.

"

Despite death threats, nineteen-year-old Justin is appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show to reveal the secret world of online child webcam pornography. Justin, who also turned down a lucrative book deal to appear on the show, hopes his decision will help children around the world.

Six years ago, Justin was a typical "boy next door." Between homework and band practice, he found time to run a legitimate small business creating websites. A self-described "computer nerd," Justin was excited to get an inexpensive webcam. He planned to use the simple tool—a video camera that connects to the Internet—to meet friends and chat with girls. Justin joined a popular website and posted his profile. Instant messages immediately started popping up on his computer.

Eventually, one of Justin's new online friends made a request that would change his life. »

By hooking up his webcam, Justin unintentionally became a fresh face in a dark world where men prey on vulnerable teenagers and children. He had no idea that his new friends were adults—an online community of pedophiles discussing strategy, sharing advice and carefully planning his seduction.

When one man told Justin he'd pay him $50 to take off his shirt, Justin considered it a harmless proposal from a friend. "I take my shirt off to go to the pool," he thought, and logged on to an online payment website to accept payment.

Soon the men's requests got bolder. »

Justin says the predators gradually stepped up their requests, each a little more explicit than the last. It wasn't long before Justin was asked to pull down his boxer shorts, "just a little." Later on the pedophiles offered him more money to take them off. Next, they told him to masturbate. "I figured it was harmless," Justin says. "I was doing what most 13-year-old boys do in their room, and I was getting paid for it."

In addition to money, Justin says the men offered him gifts to show their appreciation, teaching him how to set up an online "wish list" where he could register for cool computer gear. He believed the whole process was perfectly safe because his home address was not revealed to buyers.

Justin says his mother and stepfather had no idea he was receiving gifts from strangers—he intercepted most deliveries before they had a chance to see them. When his mom did come across a package, he would tell her he bought it himself with the profits from his web development business.

Justin's mom had no idea her son was slowly being transformed into an Internet porn star. »

Justin kept his webcam activities a secret from his parents, but his mother, Karen, says she noticed a change in his personality. She remembers he was moody and spent his time at home alone in his bedroom. Karen thought her son was having trouble making the transition to high school. She didn't suspect Justin was at risk on the Internet because she had purchased child protection software for his computer—a measure Justin proved ineffective. "For most teens in this day and age, computers are what they know," he says. "[The software] is actually kind of a joke."

If anybody should have known what was going on in Justin's life, Karen says it was her—she works with children who have been molested. "I've studied for years and I know the signs," she says. "That's why it's so mind boggling that this happened to Justin right here in my own home."

Justin's secret life moves from on-line to in person. »

By age 16, Justin's young face had become extremely popular among Internet pedophiles. Fans began asking to meet him in person. One businessman offered Justin thousands of dollars to fly to Las Vegas for the weekend. Justin agreed, telling his parents he was attending a computer convention with a friend. When he arrived in Las Vegas, he was repeatedly sexually molested by the man who had lured him there.

When Justin returned home, the man continued to exploit him. He paid for a secret apartment for Justin just minutes from his parents' home, allowing him to spend more time on his webcam.

Justin's secret life was about to be exposed. »

Justin's webcam activity was uncovered when a classmate found the pornographic footage online, made copies and passed them out to classmates. Embarrassed and scared that his mother would find out about his secret life, Justin asked his mother's permission to visit his father in Mexico.

He arrived in Mexico with plenty of cash from his webcam business. When his father asked him where he had gotten so much money, Justin told him the truth.

His dad's reaction is shocking. »

After the truth was out, Justin says his father didn't stop him from producing pornographic material…he actually offered to help  "maximize the earning potential," Justin says.

Justin says that with his father's assistance, he created his most sophisticated website yet. Before long, the website had more than 1,000 adult subscribers who paid monthly fees to watch Justin perform in live sex shows.

Justin, who was 16 years old at the time, was having sex with prostitutes and broadcasting it on the Internet as many as three times a day. He says his father helped by finding women to sleep with him. "It's disappointing to think that your own dad would do that," Justin says looking back.

At first Justin enjoyed the website's financial success, but he began using drugs and found his life spiraling out of control. He didn't know who to turn to… until he met Kurt Eichenwald, a reporter for The New York Times. »

Kurt Eichenwald, an investigative reporter for The New York Times, was on the Internet researching a story on fraud. The last thing he expected was information regarding a child pornography website. Its star was a young boy named Justin. Kurt says it was "a moment of horror. … I knew this was a kid who was in enormous danger," he says.

Kurt read more of the online discussions and discovered that these men were talking about where Justin was, where he had been and what he had done…they were completely involved in Justin's life, Kurt says. He decided that someone needed to help Justin.

Kurt managed to track Justin down via the Internet. After several online conversations, Kurt gained his trust and Justin agreed to meet him at a Los Angeles airport. »

When Kurt first saw Justin, Kurt says Justin was emaciated and addicted to drugs. "He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks," Kurt remembers. "He was probably in the worst shape of any teenager I've ever had a conversation with."

Over time, Justin learned to trust Kurt and began heeding his advice. "I remember someone caring and telling me to stop using drugs," Justin says. "I don't know why I listened to him, to be honest. But I know every time that I listened, things got better."

Justin opened up to Kurt and described the dark underworld of "camkids"—children who use webcams to produce pornography. He also described how credit card corporations and other adult enterprises helped him operate his business. Kurt knew that this story wasn't just about Justin—there were many more victims out there.

"By that point, I knew that this kid was at the center of a massive criminal enterprise—that he knew everything," Kurt says. "I had to get him to flip on a business that was paying him thousands of dollars a week. I had to get him to the point where he was sober so that he could talk to me. And he said, 'I'll do it.'"

Kurt and Justin start working together to expose online predators. »

Justin says he shut down his website and quit using drugs. For the next six months he became Kurt's guide into the webcam pornography business. His research led to the December 19, 2005, publication of Kurt's front-page The New York Times exposé on the dark underworld of child webcam pornography. "I was introduced to a world that I didn't know existed," Kurt says. "I saw a pornographic website that had hundreds and hundreds of webcam videos of children. I have never worked on anything that has made me so upset. I have seen things that nobody should ever see."

Kurt says that Justin's detailed records—five years' worth of saved online chats and financial transactions—will help prosecute Justin's predators, but reading back through such abusive conversations was an emotionally difficult task. "They said things to this child that you would not say to a dead prostitute," Kurt says.

Kurt and Justin were shocked to discover the customers' identities. »

Justin has given the FBI and other authorities his records and credit card transactions to help in the identification of predators. Kurt has also investigated Justin's records and his findings are shocking. Of 1,500 customers, Kurt researched a sample of 300. He says he found that some were pediatricians, teachers and counselors. One man, who works as a lawyer representing children, had e-mailed Justin asking to meet him personally.

Kurt's findings deeply troubled Justin. "It frightened me so much to think that these people … are around kids all day long," Justin says. "It just killed me."

Even though Justin's name was blacked out in federal documents, the alleged offenders were easily able to figure out his identity. Word spread quickly through the child pornography community and Justin says he has received multiple death threats.

Kurt says parents can prevent their children from falling into the hands of online predators. »

Kurt believes there is "absolutely no reason" for any child to have a webcam. "Every webcam in every child's room in America should be thrown out today," he says.

Justin's story, while shocking, is only one case in a huge industry that is destroying hundreds of children's lives. "They are being lured into it from their bedrooms," Kurt says. "That's the reason [Justin] is here today. He wants parents to understand what's happening behind closed doors."

Justin says he is as surprised as anybody by the dark turn his life took at age 13. "I never would have guessed that would happen to me," he says. "This can happen to any kid."

More information for parents on keeping your kids safe online.

" - Oprah.com

I wonder if Justin will even have the oppertunity to read this. Will he wonder what people are thinking of the story he told. The discussions and oppertunities to help other people in society that may make the same mistakes he did. I have a handful of things to say and take them as you want I am going to voice my opinion. Firstly who are we to even think that we understand his life. Saying he wasn't aware of things. Do we no the exact dates the time lines the conversations the negotiation the people and the acts of persuasion. No we do not so how do we have the right to judge. Do we know when his father left. Do we know how much his mother worked and how often he was alone at the house. Do we know if he had friends that were really in his life to spend time with. Do we know when he started doing drugs. All of these things are a piece of the puzzle that completes him. If you have gone through you life and never made a mistake I would like to hear from you. Whether it be getting a speeding ticket or snorting cocaine all of us may have things in our past we are not proud of. The best and most true way to move on from what we may hold is to let it out and tell people. I have made so many mistakes in my life but I refuse to feel any regret. I love who I am today and I would not be this way without the trails and tribulations that defined me. If you look at all of your glitz and glam young hollywood stars are they not in similar situations. If you name a price you can make someone do something money holds power over the world and this is sad. Your concept of amounts of money is skewed when you are younger so it would be much easier to name the right price. I do not judge as to whether or not he is niave it is not my concern as long as he is at peace within himself. I will say that of course cyber predators and what they do is wrong. I will not speak about how easy it happens or it''s effects because this is something I know nothing of. I can relate to his situation I felt and emotional connection the second I saw him for some reason. I have not spoken to my father in five years. I guess I would like to end with something that I think should reign true if he did it for the right reasons. I don't give you my sympathy under the assumption you don't want it and I give you my praise even though you don't need it. If you read this Justin good luck in your quest for peace within yourself and overcoming all that deters you from your path. Best wishes to all that are placed into horrible situations and difficult situations to overcome. I pray for you all and give me love. B Leaf


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