Today I have a whole box of oranges to talk about. Firstly I would like to say thanks to some of the people that have made it to day three and hopefully day 4. On the first day I had eleven people view this and then the second I lost four of them. I’m not surprised my writing in this project is brash and the subject matter may not be the most accepted or broad of spectrums. On the third day I lost two more and I have five. I would like to thank those five for bearing with me. I would love some feed back if you think I can improve on something or if I should take another angle on certain aspects. Hopefully I can go and start to get some more readers but it doesn’t matter I guess if it makes a difference somehow all is worth while. Tell your friends let this spread like the plague of cancer threw the world as we know it. Now that this is covered I could write this in a dairy I presume but I am already in my head enough and don’t need to keep my thoughts hidden in a book so I can dwell in my head some more.
Today my mother and I had what I will call a fight/discussion about school. That is somewhat broad and I will expand on this as well as talk about other related issues that coincide with my schooling to an extent. Currently I am enrolled in Devry University “go me” sarcastically. I am majoring in game and programming simulation design. Currently I am taking a course that is called Computer Applications for Business with a lab. This course teaches me how to use Microsoft word, excel, and power point. Consider that this is also an eight week course. I was talking to my mother and complaining about the lack of difficulty of the courses and I am sorry to say it but I think the school is a joke from what I have seen. So far both the college and this university I have gone to are jokes. I went to Hesser College in Manchester, New Hampshire and all the courses were for the most part either really simple or pointless. More on my little expedition at Hesser later. I was talking to my mom about how the one course that I actually thought was worth while was my psychology class. Not due to the material at all even though the subject matter was good. I liked this course because it was not necessarily a challenge for me but the teacher did grade somewhat to a degree and assigned enough reading so that it would be impossible to pass any of the tests or homework if you were lazy. I guess I liked that because I have not had to read a single page and I have passed at least three other courses at this school all of which worth three credits I believe. I am taking it online but my previous school was on campus. My psychology teacher graded really tough I had posted two posts in the same day to make my post our required three for the week and he took off points because they were not on three separate days. The teacher I have currently I may post one time a week and get twenty-seven out of forty points. He is giving me free points and this is going to allow and encourage my laziness. In this course I also had problems with saving one week and I did the assignment twice but both times I lost it some how. I wrote a letter to the teacher in the drop box where the assignment should have gone and talked about my difficulties. He then replies a week later in my grade book giving me full credit with Brian, Thats coming along nicely. Notice the lack of punctuation isn’t that just encouraging. Yes he may have been nice and I do appreciate it but my real question is if it is coming along nicely did he even look at it. Out of all the comments I have read I swear a majority of the professors just copy and paste and insert names. I guess I just want some attention in a schooling environment I want them to say that I have an interesting style or opinion. I am lazy in this course and I tried my ass off in the psychology that is the relevance of that entire spiel. I am just saying if something is given to you like the modern school system is doing this is pointless. I have not gained one single ounce of knowledge. If you have to work for knowledge then maybe you will think and actually gain something. I have two main points that I made to my I liked my teacher challenging me and not letting me slip by like the don’t even care. When they grade harder it is not because they don’t like you or they are hard asses. While teachers may seem like hard asses those are by far the best teachers. They want you to better yourself not just slip by with what you have and never being able to acquire more in you life. Due to the fact I am lazy in my current class I have procrastinated and been lazy slipping by with a c as I recall. This class is not difficult in the slightest but I already know the material and he is just giving away points I have a c when I have missed two complete weeks of an eight week course. She said if the course is easy why don’t you have an A in it people will look at your transcripts or your job will see it. I replied because it is boring when a class is so easy for me and the material is common and I already know where shit is going and I am not learning anything. I am not going to put in effort when the results are not based on understanding of the material but the bull shit repetition of material attempts to bash it into your head as if you are a fucking monkey. Give me my damn final in the first week please so I can finish the fucking course with all the bullshit please. Can we grade on fucking intelligence and understanding of the fucking material not the tedious fucking home work day after day nuance to my life sequence. That would be great and I would love that. Secondly my father hasn’t paid child support in about five months and he is supposed to pay while I am in college but because I don’t want to sign a release to him so that he can see what I am doing in school he won’t pay. I was only taking one course during the spring because I though I was going to be given two courses since I had two classes in the fall. I didn’t so my mom was in my ear so much just complaining and we argued so much because she is always so worried about money it makes me sad because I have done the math in my head and there is really no need for worry let alone the child support in the first place. My mother though is constantly stressing and I need to take two courses to be considered a full time student and she can not peruse legal action until I get my two courses set up. I couldn’t change anything this semester and yet we both continued to fight about it when I had already told her this. This is not in the present but recent past. In the summer I will be taking two classes in each session. It is so difficult for me having what I would like to describe as the misfortune of seeing my mother gradually slip into a land without remembrance. I have two maybe three issues regarding my schooling as well as issues related to schooling.
Hesser College interesting experience in my life. I was majoring in radio video production. This I will make short since I do not really enjoy going back to this portion of my life even though there are some good memories I would rather put this whole chapter behind me with this and when my current court case has ended what I reflect upon involving that. I have not been very descriptive of people as of yet but for this little story I will not be. Bobby Ray, Jeff, and myself are in Bob’s jeep to start off it is a Saturday night and we are going to the store. We ended up picking up three six packs of Steel Reserve High Gravity. That is a six pack for each of us. Alcohol is not allowed on campus as it is a dry campus. That doesn’t stop anybody it is such an easy task getting anything up to your room and the so called security that they tell you are keeping your children safe sorry parents all for show. So we drink all of the beers and at one point we talk about going to smoke some weed on a blaze cruise correct me on spelling or the word. We did not end up doing this seeing as nobody had any money left. I had lost my license at this point to a completely unrelated issue. We had already smoked a couple of cigarettes throughout the night and Bob was about to go to bed. I did not have a lighter on me at the time so I asked if I could use his keys to get the lighter out of his car as we had been using it all night. This is during the winter in New Hampshire and it was most likely about fifteen degrees Fahrenheit. Jeff and I go down the elevator from the fifth floor. The doors open and we walk past the snack machines and the soda machines. We get to the security desk and I start some small talk with Nick who is a really nice really cool guy. I give Jeff the keys and tell him to go start the car. The reason I stated start the car is because it is damn cold out side and I want to be warm. Jeff pulls the car around to the door and starts honking the horn. I somewhat question what he is doing but I go outside. I get into the passenger seat and I light up my cigarette we start to drive out of the school parking lot and up the road. Take into consideration Jeff doesn’t have a license either. I was kind of spacing out and not thinking about it but I noticed that Jeff was driving very poorly so I asked him why we were driving around. He replied I thought we were going to smoke a blunt. I was like nobody has weed or money. I asked him if he wanted me to drive because I knew that I would be capable of driving much better then him. He didn’t say anything. He continues to turn around in a drive way. He backs out of the drive way and puts the car into drive. He is turning to the left and accelerates. We are now facing towards a cement wall and I had known that this was coming from a mile away. Instead of hitting the breaks as he started to face more towards this wall he hit’s the accelerator. We head face first into the cement wall. I have some airbag burns on my face from this incident. I am in the street saying hurry up lets go get out of here. He tries to put the car in reverse and drive it out of there but the axels are messed up or something like this. We are running down the street and he randomly starts to go through peoples back yards but thankfully we did right as we started to come out of the back yard on the road some what parallel to the accident we see a police car go up the road. We make our way back to the school it was fairly close to where we had crashed. Jeff and I are in the woods sitting outside of the school and about to go down a path towards the school when a police car starts to pull into the school parking area. We wait up until the police car leaves and we head down back into the school. I call my mother to pick me up and unknown to me I had left the room unlocked. The next day I went to the hospital as my face was burned and it was painful. I had some facial discolorations and I don’t feel comfortable going back to school not looking good because I am conceited I guess you could say. I waited a week to go back to school. Bobby Ray had no idea what had happened and had not talked to me in that week. During the week I had received a call from officer Petrowski I believe it might have been a Manchester police officer that specialized in some form of auto theft. He asked me to come in I was not under arrest he had wanted me to come in and give him a statement. I complied even though I never should have done this in all honesty. I go in and tell him my story as it was I truly did not expect Jeff to go off the parking lot with the car I thought he would re park the car. I return to school the following week with about two hundred dollars I believe due to the fact that I had felt very bad about what I had happened with Bob’s car. I returned and talked with one of my two roommates Craig he had said that pretty much the whole entire school was pissed at me and that I had also left the room unlocked my laptop play station three and my other roommates laptop had been taken. I was unsettled by this and did not really feel comfortable staying in the room let alone the school any longer. Nick ends up coming in the room as well. I would have to say that Nick was maybe one of the best people I have met in my life and I am sorry and so sad that I only had that little to spend with him. I can only be happy with the time I am allotted to spend with people though. You know how you can meet some people in your life over and over. What I mean by that is you are meeting different people but they are a mirror image of someone you have already met in your life. Nick was not one of those people he was a very unique person. I was sad I knew I wouldn’t be coming back again or be able to see the many friends that I had made. I had been struggling I guess you could say it was not necessarily and addiction of any sorts but more of a temptation. I had excessively been indulging in a extravagant amount of drinking smoking drugs in general at this time. Understand it is college and yeah you are going to drink and party that is not a question in my mind. My school performance was slipping dramatically. I was going out every night taking uppers and downers anything I had money to get my hands on. The week previous I had not done any form of drinking or related to drugs during the entire week so I was proud of my self that I had waited for the weekend and figured I could celebrate. Guess who’s parents drank at Christmas :P. This little event with Bob Jeff and I took place on Saturday if I hadn’t already say that. I guess you could say that I fell in love with Nick. I am not talking about a sexual attraction towards him. I am talking about the fact that he just exudes confidence and every time I was around him he always seemed concerned for my well being. I was not used to this because I am usually the person looking out for others while being hypocritical. Nick was as he says five eleven but he was taller then me he must have been between six feet and six feet one inch. Earlier in the year he had a long set of hair some sort of dirty brown with a slight tint of blonde. Later in the year he ended up cutting his hair with one of my roommates. He was one of those attractive guys that the entire school knows and all the hot girls were attracted to. One time I went up to Maine to help out my friend Christie this is when I still had my car and my license but it had something to do with her friend and a baby. So we had not told anyone we were going I was still up and it was about three in the morning. We drove up there and got lost a ton on the way horrible direction givers. We ended up sleeping there I was really tired I slept on the couch until about five pm. We ended up driving back and getting back at seven and people were really worried and again this was a new emotion to me. I was renowned for disappearing now throughout this school as well as an excessive amount of drinking. I was seventeen going to college when it should have been my senior year. I was forced to do this due to the fact that my mom is always talking about the lack of forcing my father to give us money. I hate that her mind is so effectuated at the unimportant things like money but I can’t change her. The reason for this is that at eighteen if I was not in college he would not have to pay child support any more. So I personally felt like I was not ready for the college experience but it was forced upon me by my mother. When we got back though Nick was outside as I recall in my memory and he playfully punches me in the arm and says don’t go missing again I was worried about you. Nick, Wade who is nicks roommate, Craig and myself had all been going to the gym and working out together by this time in school. I felt like I was really starting to develop real friends for the first time in my life in what felt like forever. Nick had started to get on my case about using drugs and alcohol and just the way he looked at me with pure disappointment I was starting to feel guilty for what I was doing. He was a really good basketball player and one time we were in our gym a real gym not the aforementioned gym that is a fitness center. He asked me if I wanted to play one on one and basketball is my favorite sport but I had been playing more frequently recently considering hadn’t played since I was about thirteen. I was not very good he was much better then me but I said why not knowing that he would most definitely beat me. He did end up beating me and then he continued to play someone after me and I watched him. I realized that he took it easy on me as to not make feel bad or completely discourage me. Even when I did bad he seemed to try to rebuild my own lack of confidence in myself I guess would be a good way to put it. He destroyed the next kid he played showing incredible skill. I spent a lot of time in my room because I would either be smoking outside drinking or playing guitar hero three. I was trying to be sober this entire week so I was not drinking but nick would always come in and seemed apt to spend time with me and play guitar hero. He may have just come in to play guitar hero but I know that isn’t what was happening I think he genuinely enjoyed spending time with me. This again was somewhat new to me I am really used to people just associating themselves with me to use my generosity to there advantage. I started to spend more time with him and show an interest in the things he did like basketball because I played expert on guitar hero and he played medium. I somewhat coached him to get slightly better. Overall I guess why I can say I love Nick is because of the way he made me feel. I felt like a friend that he had a concern for and that he gave a shit. I would like to thank him because he helped me save myself. He made me feel like a better me when I was around him I guess that is why I respect him. That covers one in depth relationship for you guys. I offered Bob the money I had brought he took it but then brought it back and said that he shouldn’t take it because his lawyer advised against it and he was going to take legal action. I was leaving my roommate was going to give me a ride as I did not have my car or license at this point. The only reason Craig did this is because I offered him twenty dollars. This is the last time I saw Nick and it is always in my head but I wish I could forget all the bad and just keep the good. I left my room and began to walk down the hall I ran into my other roommate P-Flow just using his nickname as to not confuse with the other Peter. I had still had money and felt bad about his laptop and he looked very angry. I offered him the money I had left but he said to me it is not about the money it is about the work that was on there. I ended up telling him that I would pay for it but I never had any intention of paying for it once I had left the school. Stories of Hesser don’t end with that one but it wouldn’t be logical for me to talk about one as the aftereffects are still in the process of being sorted out. The Manchester police department called me and asked me to come down to the police station because they were going to arrest me on Theft: Unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. The officer had also said if I had told him the truth then he would not have any cause to arrest me. I did tell him the truth and yet they still decide to arrest me. They take an excessively long amount of time to book me and get all that shit done. The bail lady was such a bitch she had already assumed that I had been convicted of murder the way she acted was so fucking obnoxious and degrading. Jeff was not perused for any of the car theft. They had taken a statement from him and apparently tried to convict him. The statement the police department took from him was taking at Hesser they did not even have him come on down to the police department. He really tried to make it seem like my intention was to go for a joy ride. He said he wouldn’t let me drive because I was to drunk and that I had really wanted to drive the car. Jeff had left the school and gone on back down to Boston Massachusetts and this is why I was the main target. They feel that it is perfectly alright to let the person without a license that crashes the car and flees the scene to get away without a lift of their hands. I also could have pressed charges legally against Jeff but I chose not to. I am the main target of the legal battle we hire a lawyer and I am found in a court of law not guilty and that case and time of my life is done with. This really seemed to run on longer then I thought it would so I am not going to talk about college and high school shootings as well as the effects of cruel words and counselors in school. Until tomorrow fake that smile leave all that hates in your wake.