One of the two secrets I said I wouldn't tell

    I have already confessed one of the two secrets that I said I would not tell when I told you I said that I was raped by my father.  The last of my two secrets that I said I would not say I will say today.  Take it as you will hate me or love me that is your choice.  I don't know who I am.  I am sexually atracted to men and woman.  I want to have children and want to have a family.  I want to be able to make my mother a grandmother.  I want to be able to be honest with my mom.  But I don't want to tell her I'm bisexual.  I'm a virgin at eighteen and that is truly wierd for my age out of a college of 3000 I am one in 3 that was a virgin.  When I said I loved nick I loved him as a friend but I did love him as more.  It is tough to not love someone in a romantic fassion who makes your better as a person.  I am back to my old ways drinking and getting high on amphetimines because this is the only way that I can truly be happy.  It is pathetic and I know it is but I would rather be frowned apon than not be happy in the life I lead.  I welcome you to critisize me for my honesty hate on me for who I am.  I have recieved this my whole life and am ready for the hate.  I will change the world with my honesty maybe with my love maybe with my faith maybe.  I don't believe in any one religion I believe in the best of all religions.  In the budhism the forgivness and kindness to all others.  From christianity the ability to be forgiven by god if you regret what you did and you truly wish for forgiveness.  From cathlic the raising of my family the herilooms of my grandparents.  From the indian society reincarnation living life before and having age to your soul being a person of wisdom and knowing the knowledge of life.   From the native american society I take the belive in the love of nature and the life of using everything that you take from nature for a use.  Whether you kill a white tail deer and use the bones for arrow heads or waste it I believe that we should trust in nature for the cure to all of earths questions.   The cure for all of humanities problems are in that of nature.  If we find the ability and the heart to preserve nature and the rainforest we will find the awnser to all of our problems.  I wish you the best in all of your lives.  I pray that all of you have success and have the ability to furfill your wildest dreams.  Best wishes and all my love Brian Boisvert.  Forever maintain B Leaf.