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Nothing To Live For

Novel By: Camisado92
Other



Blair Hardrum is like any other girl. THe only difference is she is the one. The one who sits in the back of the class and stays quiet. THe one who does two questions of math homework and pretends she did it all. The one with the sucidal mind. As she embarks on a journey to get over her depression and panic attacks, will she realize what life really means? View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Submitted:Apr 3, 2007    Reads: 111    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   


Good Day-Dresdon Dolls

so you dont want to hear about my good song?
and you dont want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that i can get done
the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

so you don't want to hear about my good friends?
you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

����������� Blair walked home alone again. She kicked up the leaves that had settled on the grass in the park on the way. Suddenly, a tree caught her eye. She stopped walking and looked at it. The leaves were falling off like years off of a suicidal person. The bark was turning brown and rotting like it was sad and just waiting for its life to come to an end. There were many holes in the trunk like something was missing from the trees life. It was hollow so it was very empty and unsatisfied. Millions of words were carved into the tree too like the scars from being picked on all the time. There were other trees around it but they were all healthy with perfect green leaves and perfect bark. They had no holes in them, only bird's nests and flowers growing around the bottom. They weren't hollow or empty or unsatisfied. They were perfect.� Blair just stood there staring at the dying tree. She felt as if she was looking in the mirror. Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak, but she didn't say a word. A smile slowly crept up on her lips. She felt happy knowing that she wasn't the only one falling apart when everyone else around her was just fine. She continued walking home with occasional glances back at the tree.

����������� When Blair got home, her father and mother both rushed to see her. They both had smiles on their faces and each hugged her.

����������� "Hey my little princess! How was your day, pal?" Her dad asked as he put an arm around her shoulder and they walked into the living room.

����������� "Great, thanks for asking." Blair replied with no enthusiasm.

����������� "Oh honey, you must be starving! Do you want me to make you some sandwiches or something?" Her mother asked kindly.

����������� "No thanks, I'm fine." Blair replied once again.

����������� "Hey, so guess what? Your old man got you a little something." Her father said with a smile. He pulled out a box and passed it to Blair. She opened it to find a twenty-dollar bill lying on top of a brand new black hoodie.

����������� "Wow, thanks Dad. Anyways, I have some homework I have to do so I'm going to go do it, yeah." Blair said as she picked up her book bag, the box from her father, and headed up to her room.

����������� When she got upstairs to her room, she flung her bag on her bed. She put the box on her desk and opened it. She took out the twenty and pocketed it. She walked over to her closet and opened it to reveal a large pile of black hoodies that still had the tags on in the back on the floor. She grabbed the hoodie from the box and tossed it in. Like a hoodie and twenty bucks is going to make me forget about last night, Blair thought to herself. She then opened her bag and got out her homework. She sat down at her desk and thought to herself for a moment or two. That night, instead of only doing a few questions, she sat down and did all of it.

����������� The next day at school, Blair surprisingly was exited about her next session. She couldn't wait until school was over to go see Mrs. Moure. When the bell sounded that school was over Blair jumped out her seat and rushed to her locker. She noticed Josh, whose locker was right next to hers, hadn't said anything to her or anyone for that matter.

����������� "Josh, what's up? You seem really quiet today." Blair said with concern. Josh just shrugged and got out his backpack. He waved a simple goodbye to her and walked away. Blair just shrugged and put everything in her locker. She then rushed up to Mrs. Moure's room.

����������� Jason was already in the back with his feet up on the desk in front of him. Blair shook her head slightly at him and took her seat. Mrs. Moure smiled and greeted them happily like always. She then told them that they were to read over their biographies and passed them each their paper. Blair read the first few sentences and realized that it wasn't her paper she had written.

����������� "Uhm, Mrs. Moure? This isn't mine." Blair said with confusion.

����������� "Yeah same here." Jason said from the back.

����������� "Just read it ok? It doesn't matter whose it is, whose name is on it, just read it." Mrs. Moure smiled.

����������� "It doesn't have a name either." Blair replied. Mrs. Moure just repeated her instructions. Mrs. Moure had photocopied the two biographies, kept the originals for her, and took out the names on the copies. She knew that Jason and Blair already hated each other without getting to know the other so she wanted them to read about each other so they would know who the other was.

����������� "Wow, this is actually true?" Blair asked five minutes later.

����������� "Yeah, your not actually as different as I thought." Jason replied with the same expression of shock as Blair. Mrs. Moure sat proudly at her plan unravel.

����������� "You thought? I wasn't going to say anything because I thought you wouldn't have understood me. You probably would understand me more than most people ever could." Blair smiled. Soon a discussion started up between the two. They talked about all of their problems, how they felt about them, how they dealt with them.

����������� "OK guys, its time for you to go home now." Mrs. Moure announced half an hour later. Blair and Jason looked up at the clock.

����������� "Oh, wow it is." Jason said.

����������� "Yeah, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Blair replied and got up to leave. That night when she walked home, she passed the tree again. She smiled and stopped by it again. She took out her keys and using one of them, carved a face on it. Instead of her usual faces, she carved a smile instead of a frown. She smiled again and kept walking.

����������� The next day, Josh was quiet again. In all of their classes, he didn't have his homework done at all and was starting to fail his classes. It was as if he just didn't care anymore. All he did was draw and write and sketch in his binder constantly. Blair tried to take a look at the stuff he was putting down but Josh just slammed his binder closed and told her to leave him alone. Blair could see his eyes were bloodshot and he hadn't gotten much sleep lately. She was seriously concerned for him but he would only tell her he was fine and went back to his binder. Minutes turned to hours, hours to days, and those days to a week. Josh got quieter and quieter and Jason and Blair become better friend's everyday.





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