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Nothing To Live For

Novel By: Camisado92
Other



Blair Hardrum is like any other girl. THe only difference is she is the one. The one who sits in the back of the class and stays quiet. THe one who does two questions of math homework and pretends she did it all. The one with the sucidal mind. As she embarks on a journey to get over her depression and panic attacks, will she realize what life really means? View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Submitted:Apr 10, 2007    Reads: 103    Comments: 4    Likes: 1   


Bitter For Sweet-Blaqk Audio

Would you save my life
If you knew why this is the last time?
I'm leaving without you in silence.
Could you save my life
Had the boy that you knew not died?
This is the last time.
I'm leaving with out you in silence.

Can you tell me what stops the pain?
Self medication?
Science, saviors, tragedy?
How deep must we cut to reach sensation?
Find it. Bring it back to me
Where the void remains.

����������� On Monday, Blair woke up and realized it was her birthday. She happily got ready and grabbed her book bag. She walked out the house with a smile on her face, which was new. Half way to school, she met up with Josh who seemed happier.

����������� "Hey Blair! Happy birthday!" Josh smiled.

����������� "Thank you!" Blair replied happy to have the old Josh back. They talked the whole way to school. They got there a little later than usual so they had to hurry to their classes. Unfortunately, they didn't have any classes together during the morning. Blair however, did have art with Jason just before lunch.

����������� "Hey, Blair. Happy birthday." Jason said when she sat down with him. Blair smiled.

����������� "Thank you." She replied. They made small talk during the class and even laughed a few times. When there were only a couple of minutes left, Jason started to get serious.

����������� "So you know that dance that's coming up?" He asked. Blair nodded. "You want to go?" He asked again. She shrugged.

����������� "Depends." She replied bluntly.����

����������� "Want to go with me?" Jason asked quietly while looking at his shoes. Blair turned her head and looked at him with wide eyes.

����������� "Excuse me?" She asked in shock.

����������� "Do you want to go to-"

����������� "No, I got that. Why do you want to go with me?" Blair cut him off.

����������� "I don't know, maybe I like you a little, maybe even a lot." Jason blushed.

����������� "OK, I'll go with you." Blair smiled. Jason looked up at her with a smile. Then the bell rang. Jason and Blair got into the hallway only to hear screams of terror. They exchanged looks of fear and ran to where they were coming from. �� ��

�����������

����������� Josh stood in the middle of the hallway with a gun in his hand. He was firing shots left, right and center. Innocent students and teachers were dropping to the ground dead. Josh saw Blair and Jason run up to where he was. Blair was shocked. Her jaw dropped and she dropped her books and binders. Pencils, pens, and sheets of paper spread across the now blood splattered floor. Josh looked at her holding the gun still. He was breathing heavily. Blair could see the fear in his eyes. She shook her head.

����������� "Josh, don't…" She started also very scared.

����������� "Blair, I'm so sorry." Josh replied and aimed the gun at the two of them. Blair closed her eyes tightly and turned her head slightly. Tears streamed down her face. Before her counseling, she would've given anything to have a school shooting and be shot. Now, things felt as if they were finally going right and her life, although with many flaws, was turning out to be perfect. Now she was going to die knowing the only people who would care would also be dead. There were two loud clicks then bangs and everything went black.

�����������

A week later, Blair woke up to find herself in a white room with lots of people in white clothes. She could hear a slow but steady beeping noise somewhere. She felt an incredible amount of pain in the left side of her abdomen. She then realized the beeping was her heartbeat. One of the people then noticed she was awake. He walked over to her and checked some papers on a clipboard.

����������� "Blair Hardrum?" He asked kindly.

����������� "Yes, that's me." Her voice was dry and raspy.

����������� "Do you know why you're here?" He asked again. Blair shook her head.

����������� "There was a school shooting-" He started before being interrupted by Blair.

����������� "Oh my gosh, Josh." She said as tears came to her eyes. Everything just came back to her in a giant whirlwind of thoughts. How quiet Josh was, how happy he was on the day of the shooting, Jason asking her to the dance before it happened. The thought of him sent her mind into a state of worry. "Is Jason OK? Is he alive? Did Josh get arrested or caught?" She asked with a panicky voice.

����������� "Josh is unfortunately dead. After shooting you two, he shot himself in the head." The doctor told her. The news sent Blair into a new period of tears. The door to her room opened and another doctor came in. The doctor that was talking to her got up to talk to the other one. Blair just sat there crying her eyes out.

����������� "Blair? You have a visitor." The doctor said and Mrs. Moure walked in. Blair wiped her tears and took a couple of deep breaths. The doctors left the two alone to talk.

����������� "Mrs. Moure. You didn't have to come see me you know." Blair said.

����������� "No one else was going to. Your parents are apparently too busy."

����������� "Yeah, I figured as much. Have you talked to Jason yet?" Mrs. Moure shook her head. "Are you going to?" Mrs. Moure shook her head again. "Why not?" Blair asked slightly angry.

����������� "He's…well…he died." Mrs. Moure replied quietly. Blair gasped before breaking into more tears. Mrs. Moure leaned over and hugged her. The two hugged for almost five minutes without saying one word.���������

It was a cold, rainy, not so special day. Blair stood at the rotting tree but for a different reason this time. Below her feet were the graves of the only true friends she had ever known. The wind blew softly and coldly as tears began to sting Blair's eyes. She blinked once and the tears started to fall down her cheeks. She knelt down to the ground and placed a bunch of white lilies in front of their headstones. She then placed a single red rose and a ticket for the fall dance in front of Jason's. She wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie. She stood up and looked up at her carving of her face. A new branch had started at the top of the tree with green leaves and healthy bark. She wiped away some more tears, smiled, and looked down at the graves again.

"Bye." She said quietly. She felt a hand on her shoulder then. She looked up to see two people standing above her.

"You must be Blair. We were Jason's aunt and uncle," The women smiled. The man shook Blair's hand. Blair nodded. "Jason talked about you constantly before he left us. I think there are something's he'd like you to have. Do you have a few moments to spare?" She asked. Blair's parents didn't come to the funeral. Even though they knew Josh, they didn't think that the funeral was worth their time.

"Yeah, I have some time to spare." Blair smiled. She didn't really want to go home so she thought that it would be nice to go through some of Jason's things before his aunt and uncle got rid of it all. She did want a keepsake to always remind her of him.





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