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Nothing To Live For

Novel By: Camisado92

Blair Hardrum is like any other girl. THe only difference is she is the one. The one who sits in the back of the class and stays quiet. THe one who does two questions of math homework and pretends she did it all. The one with the sucidal mind. As she embarks on a journey to get over her depression and panic attacks, will she realize what life really means? View table of contents...


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Submitted:Apr 15, 2007    Reads: 112    Comments: 4    Likes: 0   

Cemetery Drive-My Chemical Romance

�I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that make it so hard

And I call you off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrist
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want i'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?

His aunt and uncle walked her to their car and drove to their house. The house looked sad already. Vines crawled up the sides and the plants, flowers, and grass in the front yard was dying. They all headed up to the front doorway. His uncle opened the door and his aunt led her up to his room. She entered it with sadness.

"We'll just be downstairs. Stay as long as you need. If you need any help, Jason's brother, Lukas, is just next door." His aunt smiled and headed back downstairs. Blair took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She could almost see Jason laughing with her in a session. She opened her eyes to a room with clothes all over the floor and c.d.'s lying everywhere. She stepped over a shirt or two and sat down on his bed. She closed her eyes again and could feel tears once again coming to her eyes. She wiped a few of them away and placed her hand back down to support herself. Underneath her hand, she felt a book with a pen on top. She looked down at it and picked it up. She opened it up to the last entry.

Tomorrow, I think I'll ask Blair to the school dance. I know I'm only seventeen but I think I love her. I just love the way she seems so tough on the outside but once you crack the surface, she is the sweetest person I've ever known. She has such a great personality and a great sense of humor. Like, yesterday, she was running a tad late for our session and she ran in, tripped over a desk, and fell flat on her face. I ran over to her to help her and realized she was laughing.

Blair half laughed through her tears at this. She remembered how worried he'd been about her and she just laughed.

It wasn't the first time I had heard her laugh but it seemed like it was. Every time she laughs it's like a new experience. It's such a pretty laugh too. Another thing she does is when she gets frustrated she'll sigh and flip her bangs out of her face. It's so cute how she does it. She is just the prettiest thing I've ever known.

Blair smiled and closed the journal. She looked through a lot of his other things but didn't find that much of an interest in them. She looked in his closet and found his black hoodie. He wore it almost every day. She looked at it carefully and decided to keep it as well. She hugged both to her chest and closed her eyes again. She took another breath and left the room. She walked downstairs and said bye to Jason's aunt and uncle. She walked home with the two items and cried the entire way.

��������� She dropped the hoodie off on the table and walked to her room with the journal. She found her mini locker and opened it. She stuffed the journal in along with other things from past years she didn't want to remember. Blair closed the door and locked it up. She stuffed her locker back in her closet with the many hoodies her dad had bought her. She then walked back and grabbed the hoodie. She took hers off and threw it into the laundry. She then put Jason's on and walked into the living room. She turned on the TV and watched it for the rest of the night. The news came on and she immediately saw her school. She watched the entire report and found out that school would be closed for the next two months. She sighed and decided to go to bed. Blair's parents had forgotten her eighteenth birthday and she went to bed sad. Her parents weren't home again so nothing was unusual. The moment she closed her eyes and curled up under the blankets, she felt someone sit on the bed. She opened her eyes and saw Jason sitting beside her. She stared at him in shock.

"J-J-Jason? What…why…how?" She stuttered. He smiled at her.

"Never mind that. Why do you keep me locked up in a memory you never want to visit?" He asked. Blair stumbled on her words. She was shocked that Jason was sitting there next to her and she couldn't find a valid reason for his question.

"I guess I just never wanted to revisit the past for the pain factor." She replied finally. He half laughed.

"Think of all the things you could do if you got over the past." Jason told her and stood up. Suddenly, he disappeared into thin air. Blair couldn't move for a few seconds. She then jumped out her bed and ran to her closet. She grabbed two duffel bags and threw in all her clothes that were hanging in her closet. She went to her dresser and emptied it out as well. She zipped up the two bags and ran to the kitchen. She grabbed her father's wallet that was on the table and took out whatever money was in it. She stuffed the money in her jeans pocket and ran back to her room. She got out a piece of paper and a pen and scrawled a quick note before placing it on the pillow of her bed. She ran back to her closet and pulled out the mini locker. She hugged it tightly while unzipping one of her bags. She stuffed the locker in the bag and zipped it back up. She grabbed both bags and headed back to the kitchen. She picked up a set of car keys off the kitchen table and slipped her shoes on. She ran out the door and to her mother's car. She opened the doors and threw her bags on the back seat. She got in the front seat and started the car. She smiled to herself as she backed out of the parking lot. She was going to get away and start over.�


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