March 30, 2011
Hey, it's Wednesday again. I'm I can't believe what's happening now. I watched Cal and Livia as they sat together in class today. They are so cute together, and I can't really say I'm not jealous, but I guess I'm happy for them anyway. Cal's a nice boy, and I'll be glad to have him as a friend. Cal and Livia look so happy together, or they did until Marty started making fun of them. Marty just doesn't understand how other people work. A while back, he tried to make everyone believe that Cal and I were a pair. He obviously failed, but it was quite annoying. At least, no one listened to him or that would have been really embarrassing.
Oh, and my big news for the day, Justin is totally into me! At lunch he took the seat next to me as soon as he walked in the room. Then he told me to save it for him as he went to go get his food. When he noticed that I had neglected to bring anything to eat, he offered me a bit of his sandwich. Of course I declined, but that's the first time a boy has ever tried to give something up for me. In all of the classes, he chose a seat next to me, and he tried to help me out on the Geo problem I was stuck on. The Dream Circle is getting really difficult, because we share dreams, and all my dreams are about Justin.
I feel guilty now. It seems to me like I'm being unfaithful to Jake. I've loved Jake for so long, that it just is wrong now wanting someone else. I can't let that get in the way though. Justin is here, now. Jake is older, in high school. For all I know, Jake may even have a girlfriend. He probably doesn't even remember I exist. He probably never even used to care. Agh, my life. For most people, this wouldn't even be a problem because they would have gotten over Jake when he went to high school, like I should have. I'm just a dumb girl who went all gooey over one boy and can't pull herself back, and I hate it.
Justin never has to know about Jake. Just because I told Cal about Sam doesn't mean anyone else has to know. I think Cal is trustworthy, and I really hope I'm not wrong about that. Oh, Joe, I wish Jake were here; I wish he were still home-schooled. But I can't change the past, even though I wish I could. Sorry Joe, I must be boring you again. I apologize, but I'm still in love with Jake even though that was two years ago. I think I'm in love with Justin now, too. It should be easy to choose Justin, but I cannot seem to let Jake go.