The Fruitless Life

CHAPTER 1

They wouldn't stop yelling at each other.  I tried to cover my ears but the words just kept sneaking through my fingers.  Words that I would never forget.

When I came home from school, she was sleeping on her bed.  The empty bottle of low-priced booze standing on the floor.  I picked up my mother's arm that hung from the bed and tucked it under the grey blanket.  I stood for a moment and watched the woman who gave birth to me. 

How can she waste her life like this?  How can she choose alcohol over her children? 

With a sigh, I turned around and walked to my room.  I threw my school bag on the floor and sat on my bed.  My room was appalling.  We didn't have money for fancy bedspreads or nice curtains.  We hardly had money for food.  As carpet's color faded over the years so has my trust and love for my mother.  I know that sounds bad, but you wouldn't understand until you've been in my shoes. 

No father.  A mother with a huge drinking problem.  Sometimes no food.

I'm 12 years old and I feel like a 70 year old.  I have no goals.  I don't belong anywhere.

My stomach rumbles with hunger.  I walk down the cold hallway to the kitchen.  I open the kitchen cupboards one by one and guess what?  No food. Surprise surprise.

I manage to find a stale piece of bread and I stare at with tears in my eyes.  Are children supposed to eat rotten food? 

Why was I born into the screwed-up family?  Does God like to punish me?  So many questions and nobody who could give me answers. 

Closing my eyes, I stuffed the bread in my mouth, trying to ignore the taste.  A girl has to eat.

After taking a cold bath, I start doing my homework.  I'm no Eintein, but my grades are above average.  The only thing I like is homework.  I know, it sounds like I'm dreadfully insane but that's what happens when you've got nothing better to do.

I worked for a few hours before I started getting tired. 

I checked on my mother and she was right where I left her.  My sister and brother were staying at friends.  Lucky them.  They were old enough to stay out but I was the one who always got left behind.  I don't blame them.  I'd sleep anywhere if it meant I didn't have to be here.

It was winter and needless to say: freezing.  I got dressed and climbed into bed.  My teddybear resting in my arms.  My only comfort.  My tummy growled again form hunger.   I pressed my fist as hard as I could onto the protesting stomach to try and suppress the hunger.  I fell asleep a few minutes later, my hand still on my abdomen.

I woke with a start and heard screaming.  Oh no.  Not again.  I could hear her screaming at him to leave.  She didn't need him.  To go back to his lover.  Glass shattered and I heard her scream. 

I put my head under the covers and covered my ears.  The noise didn't go away.  My whole body was screaming for me to go and help her but my mind said no.  You know what happened last time you tried to help her.

With my mother's sobs ripping my heart into pieces, I finally fell asleep dreaming of blood and broken glass.