My name is Alyssa and I am not a usual 14 years old. Everything is confusing you see people stereotype me as a quiet person and mature. Don’t get me wrong I am but the thing is there is so much that people don’t know. I am a person who isolates myself from other so I do not hurt them. What happened was a very long time ago but I am scared and I will always carry those scars around with me. The thing is I have to lie and lie so that my secret is safe. My secret is not the type that the girls in the playground tell each other or giggle about. It is so much more. It is sinister and deadly.
This is my second chance in being a normal 14 year old and if I blow it then I may never ever get another chance; I would be locked up away from people because of the little , mistake I made when I was younger.
You might ask why so many drastic actions are being taken and what exactly I did…
It was a long time ago and I was 4. I was diagnosed with childhood trauma which made me behave in way which I wouldn’t have if I was in my right mind. My mum killed herself. One minute she was telling me on how she was going to be washing her hair and after 30 long minutes I get the courage to go and look… and there she was. Her body one the floor and an empty bottle of shampoo and as for my dad he did not come home. They had a fight the previous night and it had wrecked their whole relationship. I did not understand why my dad had left; But now I do. I used to have respect for him before this whole situation but now; I feel nothing for him; I was just me and my two year old sister. She cried and she cried. She was screaming and I got frustrated and so I got a mental break down. I had put washing up liquid in my drink as well as hers and she drank it… I then snapped back in to my right conciseness. My little sister was on the floor. Breathing? I did not know. I called the police and they came round. Grace survived and I did too. But the thing was I can never see her again. She was taking away from me and fostered.
Ever since then I was placed in rehabilitation. For 10 years and now I am free and I have overcome my disease; but what is worth to live for now? I have no mum and my dad, he’s somewhere out there. I am totally disconnected from all my family and I don’t even know why I belong; I have no purpose in live.
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