Title: Don't have a clue
Type: Novel or short story or a long short story, I guess we'll see
Synopsis: Just a big compilation of random excellent stories, twisted to my own liking. I don't know about you, but I will think it's funny.
Excerpt 1: Silly twist on the Princess Bride
"Please, give me the _(I haven't decided what he wants yet)_!" said the man. We know it is Robin, but Sir Gilbert hasn't acquired that information yet.
"Haha, you truly think that Iwill submit so simply? Imock your naive request!" said Sir Gilbert with a slight chuckle.
"Very well then, you force me to desperate measures. Blame yourself for your death," replied the other man quite passively.
From a large, brown sac, Robin produced a bottle of wine, and a small pouch, complete with a drawstring for easy closure.
"Sniff this substance, but do not touch nor taste. Simply smell it," the man said from behind his black mask.
The kidnapper sniffed and returned the powder saying, "I smell nothing," at which the man of mystery showed only a small smile, answering,
"What you do not smell is called Forcain. It is odorless, tastless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is garaunteed a mere five to ten minutes of life after the tiniest consumption," he poured wine into two glasses, also from his satchel.The other man began to snicker,
"Do you sincerely beleive that Ihave not seen The Princess Bride? Oh, how your foolishness amuses me!"
Robin hid the two glasses behind him, fiddling them about with the pouch of powder and ignoring his enemies mockeries. When he turned once more, he gave a sly grin as he replied, "That may be so, but how does your knowledge of my trick heighten your chances of surviving it?"
Sir Gilbert paused before admitting, "Well, it saves my time as to choosing my cup, knowing that both are poisoned. Or, better, I have not rightly accepted this challenge at all, so what is to stop me from throwing these glasses in your face?"
"But if I promise on the grave of my father that the poison cannot be found in both glasses?"
"Hah! the promise over your father's grave, simple child's play!" Gilbert scoffed again.
The other man's face dropped, suddenly grave. It was only a moment before he could answer, "Okay. I accept," and the two grown men linked pinkies in an oath so deep as none can fathom. When this business was attended, the unmasked face sat in search of the safer flask. Hardly seconds had passed before he defeatedly gulped his share of wine, slumping with the words, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"You guessed wrong," Robin smiled again his sour grin after swallowing the wine in his glass.
"Oh, bother, of course Iguessed wrong! But before I'm dead, please tell me your secret. No man in his right mind would take such a risk without knowing he was to win."
Behind his mask, Robin pondered the idea and decided to tell the man, "Forcaine is a drug closely related to cocaine, from which death is caused by either inhalation or consumtioin. I had fooled you five minutes ago when you sniffed the powder in the pouch! The wine was rather a diversion, and neither my glass nor yours was poisoned!" but before these words had escaped his mouth, his audience had fallen dead. And so Robin ran off with _(whatever I decide he wanted in the first place)_.