Star Trek

Now this isn't a good way to start I guess, here I am talking about science fiction and the alarms ring full blast, "NERD!", I don't say dork because the real definition of the word is just nasty, and when I say nasty picture that guy off family guy saying it, he says it the best. Some people say nasty and its so boring, some put too much focus in the N and the Y, but you gotta say it like naaasty, precisely three as, any more and your stuck with a burnt nasty, too little and your stuck with a medium rare nasty, if you like medium rare then go for two a's.

Anyhow, sci-fi is a dying thing, myself being a vivid almost obsessed sci-fi fan raised in a trekkie home can see that, enterprise ruined that. That new star trek ruined the entire thing, captain archer was cool, and Trip was awesome but everything else was crap. And what the hell drove them to devoting an entire season to the deltic expanse or whatever it was called, the first few days it was cool but then it got lame fast. Same old problems, same xindis over and over again, and the time traveling thing, crap!

Of course most of you don't know what I am talking about, the original startrek was awesome! I know its old and has corny story lines but its a fracking classic, Kirk may be a womaniser but so was James Bond and he's still popular somehow. And Spock and Bones, awesome friendship there, the your cool but I want to insult you because you have sharp ears and no emotions sort of thing, sweet!

Then there is TNG, the next generation for people who don't know what TNG stands for. It really is the next generation, new technology and crap like that, its cool. The captain is bald and has a thing for earl grey tea and old women but Picard is awesome anyway, and Q, can't forget Q. He makes the whole show unforgettable, like the song. Unforgettable, that's what you are! Anyway, his omnipotent power and arrogance always makes me hysterical, falling off my chair crazy laugh that makes people stare.

Next on the line, Deep Space Nine, the first time the whole show is focused on one single unmoving space station. Despite this and the strong religious overtone it is my favourite by far, Sisko has the best attitude, drinking Klignon coffee. He starts off weird looking but when he gets bald he gets cool, note to self, baldness is awesome! Why the hell some guys are like crap I need to prevent losing my hair beats me, it adds toughness, I can't wait until I'm bald. Both of the best captains in startrek are bald, I realise they are not completely bald but they hardly have any hair, the moment light reflects off your head you are bald in my book.

And to conclude is the worse of all startrek series, startrek voyager. Here is what I like about it, Paris has an awesome attitude... and that's it. This branch of startrek is attrocious, a ship stuck in the delta quadrant for the entire show, trying to get home? Its like season 3 of enterprise but except stretch it out to the entire lenghth of the series. Janeway is a pathetic excuse for a captain, like most captains she lets morals and the prime directive get in the way of making decisions that would have had them home that much faster. Picard has the same problem, Sisko, Archer and Kirk not so much but Picard and Janeway are bad when it comes to the prime directive.

So for anyone wanting to start a sci-fi, someone trying to get back home encountering and helping others along the way is not the way to go. Now that is a show killer, I know I didn't mention the animated series for the simple reason that I never seen the damn animated series. And to be quite honnest I don't even have an inkling of curiousity to see it, and I a very curious person.

Now for the startrek movies, I like every one of them for very distinct reasons. The first one... ok i hate the motion picture, vger just doesn't quite do it for me.

The wrath of Khan was awesome, the returning ever more psychotic vengeful Khan bent on killing Kirk, classic Moby Dick syndrome going on here, love it!

Then there is the one where Spock comes back as a kid, damn I forgot the name, David dies in this one which comes back and bites kirk in the ass later, not literally! Picture that, David running at Kirk and biting him in the ass, big chunk of flesh in his mouth, yummy thought there, crap! Nightmares, I am so having nightmares now.

And the 4th, the voyage home, the time travelling thing is so overdone but it was funny to see these future dwelling people learning how to use a computer, you use the mouse you don't talk into it Scotty!

After it is the God one, directed by William Shatner in case you didn't know, who would have thought that God was nothing but a powerful alien stuck in the middle of the universe in the form of a giant face.

And the last of the original crew's movie and by far the best startrek movie in my personal taste, undiscovered country. Full of politics, deception and assassination, this is one awesome movie. Much more than startrek, they have humour, thrills, and McCoy trying to give cpr to a klingnon, that is holarious!

And now TNG tries it, they make movies of their own and I must admit they are all pretty good, but not quite as good as the originals. Well technically speaking startrek Generations is a mix of both, personally I find Kirk is way better when he's old than young. Anyway, Kirk and Picard make the perfect team, althought if I were Kirk I never would have left, and never would have lived in a lodge, more like a perfect story writting lab.

And then we have insurrection, the classic how many people does it take before its wrong scenario? People getting exported off a planet, poor them, but they never would have known other than the whole dying thing, that would be a drag.

And then its Nemesis, Picard fights his clone that looks so very different from him. He's young of course so that explains it, but the whole raised by so and so but really other and other is an old story, I know I sound critical but I love startrek in every way. Its so diverse in species and cultures, its unlikely our future will ever be like that but I love it, a guy is allowed to dream right?