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You were a Rose

Poem By: Alice Oiseau
Other


This poem is about a girl who likes a guy and begins looking for love in all the wrong places. When realized she's being used, she faces an ongoing internal battle to try and get over him. Note to the reader: The poem is a metaphor. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Mar 1, 2008    Reads: 151    Comments: 24    Likes: 10   


You were a Rose
 
You were a red rose,
with petals and thorns,
We were close

At first she mourns,
Mourns the death of sunlight that once
touched her fair skin,
She knew from the start that he would win.

The sun set into the ground,
Now the truth spread out and waiting to be found.

You charmed her with your red petals,
Warmed her tender heart
like tea in a kettle
Played her like a fiddle,
Watched her throw herself at you,
and struggle to solve your riddle.

When she wanted to hold and to have the rose,
This is what you chose:
Useless apologies,
a trick; a tease
Lies on top of lies,
and indirect goodbyes.

She wept like a willow,
let her tears sodden her pillow.
When she went to smell the rose,
she was pricked by a thorn
Little did she know that a new
heart and soul were then born.

Turning her life around,
picking up broken pieces,
listening to rebirth's sound,
the rose ceases-
bows its head of petals and
silently waits for her return

A great deal she has learned,
and now comes the real fight!
Challenging her heartaches with all her might
Unsheathing her sword - she strikes!
Up mountainous hills she hikes-
her arrow drawn-
Traveling 5 months from dusk till dawn.

She slips and falls back,
but persistence she does not lack.
Striving forward-
slashing her sword-
tripping occasionally but undying determination

But then her eyes glance at the
withering black rose-
it’s grown a vine or two
Oh how could you?!
You coil around her wrist,
she refuses- throwing her fists,
You coil around her leg,
and she begins to beg:

Leave me-
let me be.
Break me once but
never again.
Whisper lies but thou shant listen!
Stop I say - oh wretched devil - you hurt me now
with your thorns- you have me weak-
You have me bleak
You have me bruised
You have me.

The rose had won a battle in her war
The rose then tried for more

But she ran away-
far away where you wouldn't come out to play
She made it through,
and in the end, again she
saw you.

But when your black petals bloomed
and when your vine touched her skin,
You didn't know something
new was about to begin.

She cut you down and burned your petals in fires.
Burned her old desires.
She was strong now,
no longer would she bow.
Keep her head up and tall,
Never again would she fall

You were a black rose,
with petals and thorns,
We were close,
and in the end, she
didn't mourn.


10

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Comments:

awe, i loved it!

Posted: Mar 1, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!

Guess we've all been there at some time, either man or woman. We all throw ourselves sometimes, but like in your story poem, if you have foesight, you remain unharmed! I thought this was really well written, a good reflection of how some people can be, and of how both their wars got interlocked. Superb ending here too :)

Posted: Mar 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! That actually means a lot to me that you were able to break it down. Some people can't follow the metaphors. Once again, thanks for the comment! =)

Wow so very amazing! I love how it seemed so old fashioned with the sayings from long ago...what I especially liked was the whole red rose thing; how the poem was a metaphor. It was incredibly beautiful:)

Posted: Mar 8, 2008

Author Comment:

aww thank you so much!

amazing. The feelings are really strong, and i loved how it rhymed and flowed but didn't go out of its way to do so.

Posted: Mar 11, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thanks

You did a wonderful job. It seems like there's a point in everyone's life that seems to reflect off this. A constant battle within yourself. The words flowed very nice, and I like the idea of the rose. I thought it was a beautiful poem. Great job. =)

Posted: Mar 12, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you very much! =)

Lionheart
(not registered user)

I was a rose once, now i am a common blade of grass among the endless sea of green. I absolutely adored the imagery you used. So beautiful yet deadly.
I liked the way you used the vines as an extension. You had a good flow with the speech and with the overall feeling. GREAT!!!
I really liked it, i have to read more.
(no 'i like it's? That button was the first thing to jump into my mind :D)

Posted: Mar 18, 2008

Author Comment:

haha aw thanks. you're too kind. =]

ouu, very beautiful. I loved it

Posted: Mar 20, 2008

Author Comment:

merci beaucoup!

That was great. I feel so empowered after reading this! And the rhyming was great, word choice, poem subject. It was awesome! It was beautiful and empowering AND it rhymed, my favorite type of poem!

Posted: Apr 7, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!! i love this poem. its definately my favorite mainly because its so personal to me. every little thing in the metaphor has some symbollic meaning and so when i read it, i just love it. anyways, thanks for the sweet comment hon. =)

i really loved your poem, it had such beautiful words, they really seemed to flow! Great job!!

Posted: Apr 12, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!

This is beautiful, tres bien mademoiselle!! 42 thumbs up.

Posted: Apr 13, 2008

Author Comment:

haha thank you!!

Oh that was just beautiful. I loved the way you used your words and twisted them ot suit you. I loved the line: "Burned her old desires." Bravo. Btw I love your work!!

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

*bows* thank you. this poem... its really personal for me. theres a lot of little things in here that symbolize things. and that is why this poem here is my favorite of mine.

yay for favorite lines! i always love finding out people's favorite lines. ^^

such a powerful poem.. it must be very personal as well, seeing as how the emotions in it were so.. dominant.. excellent =)

Posted: Apr 28, 2008

Author Comment:

yup yup. this poem means so much to me. ^^
thank you for the kind comment :)

This was beautiful!

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!

I love what this poem tells us, the rose as a metaphor is a perfect example -so beautiful and tempting, yet get too close and it can hurt you. I know a "rose" like this. And I love how it inspires the strength to finally, see it for what it really is, to look beyond its initial beauty and to move on. And of course a rose like this always fades in the end, and I love how you put this across.
Great work! A fantastic read!

Posted: May 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much! i loved the way you described the metaphor. thats EXACTLY the message behind the poem. ^^ thanks for the sweet comment :)

Leave me-
let me be.
Break me once but
never again.

these r my favourite lines....

Posted: May 21, 2008

Author Comment:

aw yeah those are good lines. i like 'em too ^^ thanks pratibha

Metaphors create depth but provides clear imagery. You just presented one. Good job, Alice. ^^

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you jadey! glad you liked it ^^
i'm a sucker for metaphors XD

Little did she know that a new
heart and soul were then born.

Turning her life around,
picking up broken pieces,
listening to rebirth's sound,
the rose ceases-

I read this once again and I loved this....again and again....

A journey from being naive to being a strong girl....yes...the perfect way to stand up and fight and not let others walk all over us....

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

amen pratibha, amen!
she was so naive, but she learned. it was the hard way to learn, but she did.
thanks for commenting hon ^^

i liked this very much....'something' in this poem attracts me

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! glad you liked it ^^

:'( so touching I've been through a similar experiance but you courage and determination shines through! I love hoe lyrical your poetry is and how it all comes togeather

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

aw yeah, its something many of us can relate to some time in our lives - it happens.
thank you leah! i'm loving all these sweet comments XD

it's like you don't have a single bad piece!! even though your works are long, im so entrapped i can't stop reading!! how long does it take you to write a piece?

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

ummm this one took about... 5 minutes maybe... i first wrote it in my diary to just vent. and i was so upset... that this one came out pretty quickly. i think i spend about 10 minutes and most my poems. once i have the idea of what to write, it comes together perfectly ^^
thank you so much for reading!! i appreciate all the comments! :D

i like this a lot...hits a little too close to home for me in some places, seems very much like you were somehow writing it for me..
very, very nice.

Alice.

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks alice! hahahaha its so fun to say that lol
another thing we have in common then ^^ glad you like it, and i'm sorry about the rose that came into your life. *sigh* with every rose, there is a thorn.
thank you again alice ^^

I loved it! As usual :)
Going back through all your poems and things and commenting :)

Glad that the thorn has went to college and is away1!!
:)

~october

Posted: Sep 12, 2008

Author Comment:

haha yes! me too :)

Sorry if this is a little cruel, but i thought it was a little long, I mean It didn't really pull me an and i kept getting distracted. sorry...

Posted: Oct 6, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha tis quite all right. it is long. a lot of my older poetry is very lengthy. i understand. its okay.
thanks reaper ^^

Wow! That was amazing! I love all the imagery and symbolism! And I liked how it was an entire story. Really cool. Good job!!!!

Posted: Nov 10, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! this is one of my favorites, glad you liked it :D



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Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

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