Random First Lines: I was sitting on the side of the huge white fountian located in the very center of the overly crowded mall. I... : Romance » Read
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Not one of my best poems.. View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 22, 2008 Reads: 72 Comments: 11 Likes: 6
~ Shaded Eyes ~ Do you love me... like you always say you do? Do you remember the time we said, "Yes, I'll marry you." ~ Have you kept the promises, and vows that we made? Or lied and cheated, with your usual deceitful ways. ~ The days go by, followed by night. Did you marry me, just out of spite? ~ I know you regret it, I can hear it in your cries. But deep down I know you care, through those shaded eyes.
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aww.. anthony... =(
so cute, and sad. its... o no.. and aww.. and... just wow.
Posted: Jul 24, 2008
thats rele good, where did this inspiration come from?..... you don't have to tell me. Of course bebe sarah beat me on commenting HER baby anthony! lol!
L ♥
Posted: Jul 24, 2008
This was great!! Good job Ant!!
Posted: Aug 2, 2008
Awww,this is awesome!!
Posted: Aug 14, 2008
Aww,lol.This is sad.And so beautiful!
:)
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
Very beautiful. I love it
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
I really liked the flow of this one :)
~DarkFairy~
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
I thought about skipping this as a read because your tagline indicated you felt it needs more work to be completed to your satisfaction.
I enjoyed bits of it and hoped you might want some feedback to help you remove the tagline "not one of my best poems".
I wonder if the narrator of your poem realizes that by adding the word "but" in the 3rd line of the last stanza it signals the opposite of the understanding of which they wrote in the first two lines of that last stanza. I feel that by adding the word "and" instead, it might change the meaning of the last stanza significantly.
Posted: Aug 27, 2008
Tha is so sweet. I posted some more poems if you have time I would be thankful if u read them.
Posted: Aug 28, 2008
hi! ant. i'm glad i've read ur works. i wish i was half as talented as u at 14. no matter what, I'M PROUD OF U. keep writing. at 14, u've the maturity of a writer that'll shame many of us. ur strength lies in ur writing and u gaining readership that'll surpass with passing of time. i wish u the very best in writing. this is something to cheer about. i'm sure, in coming years, v'll've a published and accredited teenaged author amongst us. more power to u. lol. ;-)
Posted: Oct 10, 2008
Very good expression of feelings
Posted: Nov 3, 2008
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