Random First Lines: FIGHT STOPS PLAY!Last night I watched a boxing match,The first I'd ever seen,It started out so friendly,But soon... : Poetry » Read
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A girl with mixed feelings that lets all out of her heart View table of contents...
Submitted: Mar 22, 2008 Reads: 52 Comments: 6 Likes: 0
I can't believe
I can't believe what you've done to me
I sit here
I wonder what of this is near
I have mixed feelings all over
i have not right to bear all these to cover
this book hasn't helped me express who i am
this isn't helping what i want or what is a cam
my mom doesn't understand what i say
my brother has no respect on this day
my sister is dead
mydad he is a threat
he is in jail
i'm in a pale
stages come and go
when i am moving towards that full
of a dream
i want to scream
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A sad little poem. A lot going on and makes the reader feel sorry.
Posted: Mar 22, 2008
It was pretty good. Some of it didn't really make sense; like you were just looking for words to rhyme. Like "He's in jail, i'm in a pale." It doesn't make too much sense...
But great poem!!!! I feel sorry for the person in the poem just like anna therese said.
Posted: Mar 24, 2008
really nice poem x
enjoyed reading it x
Posted: Apr 4, 2008
Definitely a good read despite the sadness of the poem. I think that it had good flow and the meaning is very clear. Well done.
-SnowQueen
Posted: Apr 13, 2008
It's a nice poem. I liked it!
Posted: Jun 1, 2008
I like this, very sad with a lonley feel, well done.
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
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Other writing by Avril360 Those Two Words- (Seesawmae Challenge Writing) TOB (tears of blood) Death to Death The Mysterious wonder The Hidden Gate More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.
