Dark path; Beautiful home
Next time Darkness attacks me, I'll let it win. Maybe then, I can go home.
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Submitted: Jul 17, 2008
Reads: 75
Comments: 11
Likes: 6
I used to be of Light.
But for reasons unknown
It died.
Now I can feel it.
That evil in the air.
It’s all around me.
The doors are closed up tight.
The windows are locked.
They won’t keep it from coming.
I welcome it.
Sleeping we are weakest.
It waits.
For my eyes to close.
Time passes in the night.
Sleep finally takes me.
He strikes.
Darkness fills my room.
It surrounds me.
Slowly, it touches me.
I cringe but can’t move.
It’s locked me.
Fear rises.
Now is when I’m supposed to call.
For Him to save me.
But I don’t.
It laughs in glee.
Makes me spin.
I keep my eyes shut.
Not wanting to see.
It crawls over me.
It slithers.
A snake of darkness.
Weight on me,
I feel it.
Closer to my head.
Cover me.
No air to breathe.
A flash of light
And it cowers back.
My Father’s come.
To take me home.
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Comments:
MANDY (gasp) where, oh where did this come from???
hey, but it is really, very, very good! wow, yes its excellent, but hey you took me by surprise lol,,,
geez let me get my head straight back on here lol.
oh goodness, its so unlike you but is superb REALLY,
I really like this part of you. (not that I wish to see more of it) LOLOLOL just kidding but ya, jsut don't want to worry bout cha ^_^
Posted: Jul 17, 2008
Welcome to the dark side muwahahaha, lol, jk. Yes I've had this feeling, and so has Lionheart, I know that for a fact, hehe, now he can't say that if he comments.
He'll hold us close in his arms, and never let the dark get us.
~DarkFairy~
Posted: Jul 17, 2008
oh my! this is great mandy!
ahh XD i'm actually a bit tongue tied right now lol
ok well, i really liked it ^^ i thought it was a great idea with the darkness to strike in your sleep - b/c thats when we are most vulnerable to danger. and then just when its about to close in - bam! the lord rescues you.
i see the poem to have the symbollic feel of just whenever one goes to "sleep" its when we are at a fragile point in our lives. the darkness is the hardships that smother us when we are feeling weak. but then with faith, one is saved and guided by the light.
fascinating and a lovely poem ^^
keep up the great writing mandy :)
Posted: Jul 18, 2008
Great piece of work Mandy, well done!
Posted: Jul 19, 2008
I agree with air. This is so unlike you. From start to finish I could tell you were highly depressed while this was put out. We all have our way of writing and sometimes it changes due to events in our lives that are not pleasnt or are. I wanted to cey for you throughout this piece I feel the hurt the loneliness within it. I'm still praying the best for you Just as I promised and will continue too.
I think you could use this right about now ((HUG))
Peace Love and Understanding
Matt
Posted: Jul 19, 2008
Hello Mandy...Its a real dreamy poem...very well written...moving.
Rahbar.
Posted: Jul 19, 2008
Hey Chicka :) I hope you are doing alright.
I really like this (as all of your work). I can sense that you poured a ton of emotion into this. It shows. I can see a lot of your personality showing through and that's what makes a great poet. Great job!
Regan
Posted: Jul 19, 2008
Lionheart
(not registered user)
[a black wind sweeps in from the distance to form into Lionheart]
No matter what we are or who we are, its not always kittens and rainbows... although i would love to write a poem about them right now hahahahahahah!!!
Sometimes i only see the sun as a light that is only there to cover the darkness. But when i read things like this or experience something beautiful, i remember that the sun is always going to rise again, to cover the darkness. We wont ever escape it... but we can avoid it...
I wont offer words to console... because i know your over it. And if your NOT over it, well... i dont need to say that i would lift you out of the dark water above my head, so you could feel that light air above. Tell me how it was :)
Posted: Jul 22, 2008
Right so that like pricked my eyes with tears! AAAAAAH! beautiful, astonishing, you know the title just like hooked me! SO MANY TALENTED PEOPL ON BOOKSIE! WOW! you are amazing! By any chance are you a christian?
Posted: Jul 27, 2008
woah woah woah darkness attacking you! why why!! no no no... beautiful poem! BUT YOU are you alright?
Talk to me if you want to.
xx
Posted: Jul 27, 2008
I must say, I'm just as shocked as everyone else! You're so bubbly and happy-go-lucky! This poem is so dark. lol. But I really liked it!! I think it's awesome you've stepped into some dark form of writing altogether with this one!
Posted: Aug 16, 2008
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