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Mr. Hollywood

Poem By: Kathryn
Other


I'm not sure how I feel about this one, it's very different from my other pieces, but I like the style. It's kind of a one-sided conversational poem that uses this theme of hollywood to bring out a subtle love story. Feedback is appreciated! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Oct 11, 2007    Reads: 64    Comments: 4    Likes: 3   


Well, hello Mr. Hollywood. Good to see you again.

Do you really think I'm lovely?

What was that? You think my hair smells really good?

Oh, delicious you said. Sorry I didn't catch that

I was too bedazzled by your smile.

That laugh of yours is really something,

It goes great with all the rest of you,

Especially when you're staring at me.

Those hands of yours fit quite nicely

Laced between my palms and fingers.

Oh, please, you're making me blush,

Quit saying how lovely I am.

Oh but please, don't stop telling me

I'm a movie star.

Did anyone ever tell you that those eyes of yours

Are filled with all this charm and seduction?

I'm being seriously serious when I suggest

That we get together sometime

And discuss making this idea I have into a film.

It's a wonderful story about a guy and a girl

That meet and fall in love.

Like all good romance movies

It has a happy ending with a passionate kiss.

Why yes I was inspired.

You won't believe me,

But it's based on us.


3

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Comments:

I like it. I can see James Cagney as Mr. Hollywood for some reason.

Posted: Oct 11, 2007

Author Comment:

I could see that. It definitely has a sort of swanky, black and white feel to it, doesn't it?

Yup, definite black and white feel. Nice mood. Sort of like a classic movie:

"That we get together sometime

And discuss making this idea I have into a film.

It's a wonderful story about a guy and a girl

That meet and fall in love.

Like all good romance movies

It has a happy ending with a passionate kiss."

Posted: Oct 18, 2007

Author Comment:

I was going for classic, but hopefully not cliche. There is certainly a fine line. I'm glad you like the mood, I tried not to over-do it.

Sir Maz
(not registered user)

I dont think its cliche- actually I found it slightly foreboding...though I am definetaly not sure thats what you were going for lol.

Something about the pure innocence and "black and white" feel of it gave me some premonitions, almost a fear for the gal. Maybe its just me being overprotective, Im not sure ;)

Posted: Apr 21, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm not so sure if you need to be too worried for the gal. She's basically batting her eyelashes and coming onto him, or at least trying to. Innocence in this piece is more of just a front; she's trying to be charming without being a slut.

This one was a lot different from my "usual style" if I have one , that is. I liked how if you left a pause or used the space between the lines to insert what the guy, Mr. Hollywood, was saying, you'd have the whole story. For some reason, I chose to only give you half of it. Well actually, I suppose I did it in part because I like the reader to add in his/her own creativity and ideas about what they want to happen. Just like you've done.

Thanks for all the comments. My writings have never had so much attention! They make me smile. :)

Sir Maz
(not registered user)

I do feel like Im spraying all of your pieces with my comments- in an unflattering male-dog-marking-his-territory kind of way. But Im glad they make you smile- thats all I care about anyways.

Posted: Apr 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Well, you do have a way of making me smile.



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