My Body Remembered It Better Than My Mind Did

He is something to do.

He is a mysterious stranger.

He is all the adventures I could have

And all the risks I wish I could take.

I know in the minty silence between us

That I am asking for it.

I find myself slumming with the rest

Of the Daisy Buchanans in the world.

I hear a whisper in my ear,

"Remember who you are, Joan,"

But the journey from your head to your heart

Is the longest one you will ever take.

So as you lean in I think to myself,

Here's to responsibility once a week

And recklessness every day in between.

You kiss me and I kiss back,

Against my better judgment.

I take in your smell,

The smokey, sweet aroma engulfing us.

I savor the sparks on your tongue

And realize in the car ride home

They tasted rebellious.

A few minutes in, I think,

We really shouldn't

But we just both seem to be giving ourselves

Exactly what we want.

I live in my wildest fantasy

For a few more moments

And then, I leave you

Standing there in the driveway.

As I pull away, I want to yell:

I'm sorry.

I know exactly what it feels like.