Midst of a crowd

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Poem By: nuttyz
Other

Tags: crowd, emotions, explore, invisible, own-world

i just wrote down a different type of poem...thought of sharing with you all though i didnt like it that much...enjoy:) View table of contents...

Submitted: Jul 6, 2008 Reads: 29 Comments: 2 Likes: 2

Here i stood
In the midst of a crowd
Everyone so different
Expressing different emotions
Tired, tensed, ticked off
Weakness, worry, worn out
Innocence, intense, insecure
I searched For a familiar face
But found none
Engrossed in their own world
Was everyone
Rushing to go somewhere
Maybe home??
To be welcomed by their loved ones
Or maybe nowhere??
Just rushing along
Exploring the world before it ends??
Weird how i managed
To look through some of their faces
Making them invisible...
But how would they feel??
If they knew...
Or even read my mind
Left out maybe??

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Comments:

Farstyles

interesting :) thats something to think about when you go walking in a crowd. i like :P keep writing girlie cuz not everyone has the talent.

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

hehe..thank you Farstyles! glad you liked it! ^_^

Anna Therese

Now this poem is excellent, neat, concise, flows well.
Ask yourself why this poem works so well?
You don't throw up little words not needed to make readers stop in their tracks for a moment. Tense may make it even better! Have a play with it
Here i stand
In the midst of a crowd
Everyone so different
Expressing different emotions
Tired, tensed, ticked off
Weakness, worry, worn out
Innocence, intense, insecure
I search for a familiar face
But find none

What do you think? Present tense could make a different impact.
Keep writing, keep presenting, keep publishing, you have a knack.

Posted: Jul 13, 2008