I am.....

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Poem By: Olola
Other

Tags: lonely, without, depression, stress, lost, unwanted

A poem about feeling unwanted and lonely View table of contents...

Submitted: May 14, 2007 Reads: 111 Comments: 17 Likes: 4

I am a river without water

I am a road without cars

I am a novel without words

I am a sky without stars

I am a beach without sand

I am a storm without rain

I am a house without a roof

I am a human without a brain

I am a bride without a groom

I am a fish without gills

I am a bird without wings

I am a car without wheels

But what I really am

Is what I really am

And what I really am

.........is lonely.

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Comments:

JL Musgrave

Good comparisons. Sad.

Posted: May 14, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks for the comment

Dawn Prest

"I am a bride without a groom" nice line. One I can completely relate to.
This is a nice piece, cleaverly echoing the emotions, but without making it a cliche. Nicely done!

Posted: May 14, 2007

Author Comment:

Oh thanks for the comment - that's really thoughtful of you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

katrina soroya

beautiful. really moving. made me sad :(

Posted: May 15, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks for the comment - I'm really glad you enjoyed it and that you really felt the emotion I was trying to put across.

tigergoddess81

Very beautiful. Great job. ~JT~

Posted: May 21, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks for the comment - I'm very gald that you enjoyed it.

Classy Peach

Ouch...that was like a punch in the gut at the end! Struck a nerve and you do know loneliness from the depths of this poetry. Guess I do too though seeing as I recognized it. Sigh.

Posted: Mar 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. I'm really glad that I've been able to convey the loniness that I was going through successfully. Thanks again. Olola.

stephhlebreton

wow, really sad. But I loved how simple it was. It's beautiful in its simplicity. Brilliant.
And you know what girl,the emptiness won't stay, don't worry be happy:)
Steph:)

Posted: Mar 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot. This was how I felt and I wanted to express it in a simple way that everyone could identify with and understand. Don't worry Steph, I'm happy now :)

I felt lonely all through my adolescence so I empathize. It is a difficult time in our lives, a strange time. But I am getting to know you and you are I think a good person with a good mind and personality. You have very positive attributes.

Posted: Mar 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Eric. I felt pretty lonely in my early teens and I guess this was the only way that I could express my emotions. I really appreciate your comment. Olola x.

matthew smith

beautiful stuff..love the images..there r times when we all feel alone

Posted: Apr 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks..I'm glad you enjoyed it and it conveyed exactly what I wanted it to. Thanks again. Olola

XBrokenHeartedX

Absolutely astonishing. This poem really just went BAM! It was incredible! How you compared everything. I am a car without wheels, I am a storm without rain, I am a road without cars, just it was really truly wonderful! I love this poem so so so much. And the last stanza was like eye popping. Great job! *two thumbs up*

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much. I'm so glad you liked it - I'm suprised that this poem conveyed what I wanted it to. Thanks again and I will definitely be reading more of your stuff. Olola.

bubbly

that's right, alone and lonely. and unless u find the right companion to share this loneliness, it is tough. i've been on this road before. nice reading something, that i've already visited. kutgw. ;-)

Posted: Apr 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Bubbly, I'm glad you can relate to it. Olola.

jenergy

i really like this one.....
~*~jen~*~

Posted: May 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for the comment Jen. Olola.

rose89

hey totally awsome! i loved the end but keep on the :) on ur face!!!! OK? great job!!!

Posted: May 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot Rose89. I will try and keep the ':)' on my face. I really appreciate your comment and I will try and read some of your stuff when I have time. Olola.

donna

The emptiness is so stark, "I am a river without water". Love this poem. And love you too, girl.

Posted: May 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Donna. Olola.

indiefreak

I once felt i've got no reason to live because i don't know of any purpose to my existence. your poem reminded me of those lonely years. Very nice:)

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Awww, thanks. Everyone has a purpose, it just may take some time until you find exactly what it is....I'm glad you enjoyed it. Olola.

listener

You have asserted yourself with "I am". And that is very important for you have realsied your self worth. Wonderful poem.

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks listener. After writing this poem made me feel less alone, so perhaps the repetition of 'I am' made me realise my self worth. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Olola.