I know I’m loved
But I don’t feel loved
I see their warm smiles
But I don’t feel warmed by them
I receive their love through the hugs they give me
But it feels hollow and forced from them
I know they love me
But I don’t feel it
I don’t feel the love in their hugs
I don’t see the love in their eyes
I don’t hear the love in their voices
When ever their actions are towards me
I know I am loved by them
I know it is love
But…
I rarely feel it
I rarely hear it
I rarely see it any more
I know I am loved
But I feel so alone
Always the one found alone
Even in a sea of people
I end up standing alone
In the corner of another room
Looking happy
Looking content
But that is the lie I give
Is it a lie to them?
Or a lie I give myself?
Why am I this sad all the time?
Why do I feel hollow when I am hugged?
Why do I feel hollow when I know I am loved?
Why do I feel hurt when I thought I was happy?
Why do I feel I am in the way all the time?
What has happened to me?
What has happened to make me feel this way?
I know I am loved by you all…
So why do I cry myself to sleep so often?
Why do I make conversation with people that aren’t real?
Why when company comes over, do I feel I need to lock myself away?
Is this normal?
No, I know it is not.
But it feels so natural to me…
I know I am loved
So why when I am touched by some one who cares for me do I feel empty?
Is this a punishment?
Is this just a faze I am going through?
When will this end, this constant cycle of lonely and empty feelings?
I know I am loved by you all
And I love you all too
But this emptiness is beginning to tear at my heart
I am becoming lost in a world I made up…
What is happening to me?
I know I am loved…
I just…
I just don’t feel it any more…
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