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I'm So Sorry

Poem By: SimpleySplendiferous
Other


A poem I wrote. Simpley Said. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 28, 2008    Reads: 23    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   


I am sorry for judging you
Not knowing who you really are.

I'm sorry for all the things
you have fought so hard to get through

So young, so much energy,
I hate to see such a thing

But what is it that can be done
when things like this come around

At first I thought it was because
you had what made me happy

But I look more and more
and I see its because you have made him happy.

I tried so hard
fought for so long

To be what it was he wanted
and through it all to the very last minute

I seemed to have forgotten.

It was me he wanted all along
It was I who he had fell in love with

And through it all throughout this journey
I lost what it was trying so hard to please him.

Sure I gave him everything he wanted
But with that and things not changing

I forgot who I was in the process

Here I am still lost
I don't know who I am anymore

And I look at you and then I look at me
And my heart fills with such worry.

I see that look in your eyes
The one you get when he arrives.

I know, I was there
I had it to.

But a single tear escapes
As I begin to see your pain

Your worries and what its doing
to push him away.

I don't even know you
But I see it within you

I don't want to see that pain worsen
because things don't go a certain way.

I know him all to well
I know exactly how he thinks

I know what can happen
If you hint to letting go...

I know he needs you
Just as you need him.

I know how scared you are
Of how hurt he will be

If indeed the end does come.

But what you fail to see
Is it hurts him more to not spend with you your last days

He is stronger then we give him credit for
Yet he still suffers so weak.

But I know that He will give you a new perspective on life
one that will cause you to hold on tight.

Can't say rather your the one
All  I can say is what I see

And What I see is another changing point
Another part in both your lives
That will lead you through to the next

Hang on,
Hold tight,
Don't let him out of your sight.

Keep him near and take a chance
For your heart he holds inside.

And trust me coming from someone who knows
He will definitely change your life

He will teach you things you never knew
He will help you be the person you wish to be

He will open your eyes to a whole nother site
He will leave you knowing your time with him was right.

He will help you see what you cannot
He will show you things you never thought

He is what you need

So take a deep breath and
Let out a sigh

Forget about the past
 and Take a risk,

No longer fight
because in the end he will give you life


1

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Comments:

Really shakes the question up a lot

Posted: Aug 28, 2008

Author Comment:

What kind of questions?

♥ Always & Forever ♥
~Ciara~

hi! ciara.

1. CIARA: Your name of Ciara creates a desire for association with people and new experiences, many of which have been rather bitter. This name has given you a gregarious personality and a quick-thinking, creative, and versatile nature, but one that is very emotional. You desire change and travel and would enjoy opportunities that allowed you to be creative and to act independently, rather than to conform to system and routine. However, this name does not allow you to complete your undertakings, as farther fields always look greener.


2. CIARA MAE SPIDELL: There are 15 letters in your name. Those 15 letters total to 65. There are 7 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means: Irish Female Saint or Dark. Feminine of Ciaran.

Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.

The expression or destiny for #11: Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.

The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.

Your Soul Urge number is: 4
A Soul Urge number of 4 means: With the Soul Urge or Motivation number of 4 you are likely to strive for a stable life. You tend to follow a rather orderly pattern and systematic approach in your endeavors. You have an inner desire to serve others in a methodical and diligent manner. You want to be in solid, conventional, and well-regulated activities, and you are somewhat disturbed by innovation and erratic or sudden changes. Excellent at organizing, systematizing, and managing, you have a way of establishing order and maintaining it. You are responsible, reliable and in the final analysis, practical. Highly analytical, you can see your way through all sorts of situations and generally have a clear understanding of the issues. You are a very honest, sincere, and conscientious individual.

The negative side of the 4 is rigid, stubborn and somewhat narrow-minded. There is a tendency to hide feelings, or to really not be aware of real feelings. Avoid being too rigid and stubborn in your thinking, and try to always see the big picture rather than becoming to involved with the detail. Don't be afraid to take a chance once in awhile.

Your Inner Dream number is: 7
An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.


3. AUG 07, 1987: Your date of conception was on or about 14 November 1986 which was a Friday. You were born on a Friday under the astrological sign Leo. Your Life path number is 4.

Your fortune cookie reads: Don't forget to do good deeds as you accumulate wealth.

Life Path Compatibility: You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 6 & 7.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 3, 5 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447014.5.
The golden number for 1987 is 12.
The epact number for 1987 is 0.
The year 1987 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/29/1987 and ending 2/16/1988. You were born in the Chinese year of the Rabbit.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Salmon; your plant is Raspberry.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 13 Av 5747. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 14 Av 5747.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.14.4.10 which is 12 baktun 18 katun 14 tun 4 uinal 10 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Friday, 11 Dhi'l-Hijjih 1407 (1407-12-11).
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 19 April 1987.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 19 April 1987.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 4 March 1987.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 7 June 1987.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 14 June 1987.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 24 September 1987.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 14 April 1987.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 3 March 1987.

As of 9/30/2008 9:30:44 PM EDT: You are 21 years old. You are 253 months old. You are 1,104 weeks old. You are 7,725 days old. You are 185,421 hours old. You are 11,125,290 minutes old. You are 667,517,444 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Charlize Theron (1975) David Duchovny (1960) Garrison Keillor (1942)
'The Amazing' James Randi (1928) Carl 'Alfalfa' Switzer (1927) Stan Freberg (1926)
Ralph Bunche (1904) Louis Leakey (1903) Billie Burke (1884)
Mata Hari (1876)

Top songs of 1987
Faith by George Michael Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Alone by Heart With or Without You by U2
La Bamba by Los Lobos I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston
Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2
Didn't We Almost Have It All by Whitney Houston I Knew You Were Waiting by Aretha Franklin & George Michael

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.02348336594912 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Sunday. Your lucky number is 1 & 4. Your ruling planet(s) is Sun. Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th. Your opposition sign is Aquarious. Your opposition number(s) is 8. Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 311 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 22 candles. Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs, or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!). You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1987 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1987 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1987 in the US there were 2,421,000 marriages (9.9%) and 1,157,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1987 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1987 the population of Australia was approximately 16,394,641.
In 1987 there were approximately 243,959 births in Australia.
In 1987 in Australia there were approximately 114,113 marriages and 39,725 divorces.
In 1987 in Australia there were approximately 117,321 deaths.

Your birthstone is Peridot. The Mystical properties of Peridot: Peridot is used to help dreams become a reality. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources). Sardonyx, Diamond, Jade

Your birth tree is Poplar, the Uncertainty. Looks very decorative, no self-confident behaviour, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organiser, tends to philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership serious.

There are 86 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 99 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you were born was waxing gibbous.

Posted: Sep 30, 2008

Well, I have read all your poems, and out of all of them this one is my favorite.

Posted: Nov 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for reading all of them! I hope you enjoyed most of them, and thanks for picking this one as your favorite! Yay!

♥ Always & Forever ♥
~Ciara~



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